Chuck Versus The One That Got Away
by chuckwillalwaysbeahero
Summary: Post Season 5.They say that the GREATEST CATCH is the ONE WHO GOT AWAY?. Sarah and Chuck deals with life together and apart. Will they make it? I really suck at summaries. - NOW COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1 On Memories and Fairytales

_**Author's Note: I had to repost chapter 1 and 2 for some odd reasons I'd rather not explain. I know the next 2 chapters are angsty! I'm one of those people who like keeping Sarah and Chuck apart. I'm a shipper, so I promise happy ending, isn't that lame? So seat back and relax folks!**_

_**Oh, BTW I don't own Chuck**_

They both knew that the kiss won't work, that life was no fairytale – that Morgan was just spending too much time with Baby Clara in watching Disney Princesses Movies. But they have to try. They both have to save what is left – or if there's anything left with them. Chuck was asking her to take another chance with him, to give it another shot. To be honest to herself she was praying herself to make sure it would work, she even closed her eyes.

But they both it will take time. That there was no shortcut in life. If Chuck was correct it took them almost three years to officially be together. Five years all in all to have the dream life that she never thought she will be wanting.

"What if I don't remember?" Sarah asked Chuck the million dollar question after their fateful kiss at the beach. The million dollar question that she was afraid to ask. Five years was a long period of time, things changed, she changed, her life change. She basically is trying to escape Chuck's piercing brown eyes filled with love and hope – instead of hate and rejection – she made a mental note about Chuck's reaction on what had happen between them for the past 2 weeks.

She did not know how much time had passed between them. She doesn't know where to begin, how to begin or if their will be a chance to start all over again. Chuck was still looking at her eyes as if trying to plead his case after the kiss. There is something in her being like wanting to shout and telling her to stay – but she needed time, she was just hoping he would understand.

"Then we'll have this." Chuck saying while holding her hand gently and pleading his case for her to stay. With all the things that were said and done he knew it will be unfair for her to stay or even asked her to stay – 'but I still needed to try right?'. He started to gather his strength if there is still any left, he was looking in her eye intently – the same effect happens when he saw her the first day in the Buy More – 'I'm a goner', he said to himself. Lost in her baby blues.

"Whatever we wanna call this, we will still have this." His voice broke, it almost sounded like a whimper. "I know you needed time, I know I'm being unfair believe me I know but you can't blame me for trying." he scoffed, his eyes are glassy, he was trying to choke back the tears but he was failing big time. "Damn, I used to be good at this, you know – in saying your feelings part."

"It's okay we will manage, well I hope." She fervently hoped for it too. Whatever they used to had before she did not expected it, never in her lifetime did she thought that she would settle down and fall in love with an assignment, as far as she knows she is back to her default version. Cold, heartless, spy that it sting.

"Yeah, yeah we' ll manage. Sarah there are some things that we need to take care of, I know how awkward things might have been for you, I promise not you push you too hard. Whatever it is that we have right now I will be okay with it. Don't worry." His voice was again breaking, he barely could not put it all together, he was failing miserably – she could she that, he was so easy to read 'like a book'. He may know the man from his file in the CIA that Quinn had given him prior to her attempt of killing him having the idea that he was a rogue agent – but there was an odd feeling on her part that knew that he knows him, 'she knew him'. Maybe she still does, whatever it is she will find out, she has to find out.

"If it will be alright for you, to go and have dinner with me at our place, well having such circumstance it is still technically our place – not that I'm implying it, I just don't know what to call it, in Casa Bartowski – ah how do I say this, it's not what you think, not a date for the record...I know... I said I'll not push you too much but dinner at least at home will not be that bad I hope... You know what who am I kidding, I think I'm asking too much," Chuck said while rambling nervously. He was wanting to put every thoughts he had in mind into words for Sarah to understand and and not misunderstand and again he is failing big time.

'He is rambling again – which is cute and adorable, cheek is blushing', Sarah thought, she understand what he is saying at least she content. She knew she was far different from any man he have/had met in her lifetime, the stranger in front of her was special – it's like they knew each other in another lifetime. So she understood what he was trying to say.

"Chuck", she said in a voice that it so tender, like she was trying to protect him from danger and hurt. Like she was trying to protect him from her, from all the bad people, villains, nemesis that they might have faced together in the past five years they knew each other – she knew that she was the worst of them. She was her worst nightmare. That's putting words into it. 'of course I'll never tell him that, he's a smart guy, he has to find that out for himself.'

"I'm rambling again, aren't I? Force of a habit I guess." Then he smiled, the smile that was just meant for Sarah Walker, 'if she can't remember this' he thought referring to the smile - 'then I'll let her know, though I still hope they still have the desired effect'.

Sarah smiled back, how could she not? It was one of the most adorable and breath-taking smile she had seen all her life - despite the last five years that was taken away from her by the same thing that brought them together in the first place - THE INTERSECT.

"Indeed, but it was cute." she said, the last part was almost a whisper but he heard it, she also knew he heard it, 'Chuck was a spy, well sort of' - she said to herself.

"Dinner is not a bad idea to consider, it wouldn't hurt to eat," she continued, trying to avert his eyes, his damn amber brown eyes that for some reason make her knees weak. She tried to focus attention to the sunset that right in front of them to see. They were seating in the beach - same spot from their first first date, in Malibu. If everything else was different this would have been a perfect ending for romantic - action movie she thought to herself. But it wasn't. 'My life is not a fairytale nor a freaking romantic movie, I don't get happy endings, she mused to herself while being absorbed by the unknown horizon.

"Yeah, dinner. Dinner. Just a harmless dinner of old times sake." He stood up, not trusting his self what to do next. As a perfect gentleman he offered his hand to Sarah, not that she will need to stand up - force of a habit.

"Thanks." She said as he took his hand for support, it warm she felt safe. Chivalry is one of the traits that this man before him possessed, but it was genuine, not forced, natural - whatever you wanna call it.

As soon as she stood up, he released her hand of course not wanting to come up too strong. they are walking in thin ice - they knew it for a fact. One wrong move and he will spoke her away. Sarah Walker is a woman who isn't scared off easily, but Chuck knew - those five year were not all for naught that she was before in the earlier stage of their "relationship" as he mentally make air qoutes in his head - she was afraid (he mentally kicked herself, if everything else is the same Sarah won't be too happy with his choice of words, eventhough he is just talking to himself) no not afraid, just not comfortable in relationships, not comfortable in being vulnerable and emotionally compromised. God he knew that, he knew better. He wished he didn't but he did. So he will take it slow. As slow as she wants. As slow as she need. For as long as he can have her.

They walked to the beach parking lot, if there is such thing. Chuck just used a cab to get to Malibu. Technically he is unemployed and he sold the Buy More so he is not allowed to use the Herder anymore. And he is also pretty sure that Sarah will bring her Lotus.

They walked in comfortable silence, tension is palpable. They both don't trust themselves to say anything to anyone. So they walked, in companionable silence.

"I hope you can give me a ride, I used a cab to get here. No car, unemployed. I bet you get the idea," Chuck rambled as Sarah kept her distance during their walk. But he can see how hard she was trying, and he will be forever grateful for it.

She smiled. She was actually mentally assessing the situation earlier for their ride back home for dinner. 'Wow, home.' She has a home. It will be awkward if they will be riding using different cars.

"You can always ride with me, it's good enough for two." She laughed at her remark, it was out of character on her end but it felt nice.

"It will not be professional not to." Chuck quipped. At least their banter was somehow close to what they previosly had before. It must be good.

As they reached the car, Sarah jumped to her seat, Chuck wanted to open the door of car for her but she was driving - she was always driving, - but it would be awkward. So he just slid on his self to the passenger seat so they can get over the said situation and move on to dinner.

As Sarah started the car and drive back to the apartment complex, she was still wondering how she knew the road back to it. Of course as a trained spy she was used on to following directions and make a mental map to her head, but somehow their way home felt different.

The drive home was not that awkward as they expected it to be. They both knew that road back to what they used to be will not be easy. But it will definitely be worth it. They made small talk, Chuck as expected were rambling non-stop. She laughed at all of his jokes, which surprised her. It was like he was eliciting those reactions to a part of her that she never knew that was there. Maybe that who she was when they were together.

While they were talking Chuck sent a message to Morgan of course, his wingman for 24 years, since he was six.

**(Buddy will be at home by 20, with Sarah. Talk to you later. The usual)**

After he sent the message to Morgan he kept the phone back to the pocket, Sarah of course notice that. No details escape the ice queen assassin.

"Who was that?", she innocently asked Chuck, her eyes on the road but is gauging his answer at the rearview of her vision.

"Huh? Oh I just texted Morgan, asked him a favor, nothing special," he said sheepishly, 'of course she will notice she is a superspy for Pete's sake'.

"What favor?"

"Hmm... Just told him we are dropping by, asked him to order the usual."

"The usual?"

"Yeah, Ah oh, sorry. Pizza Vegetarian, no olives and some Sizzling Shrimp."

"Italian and Chinese huh?"

"I know it's weird but we liked it, I believe you gonna have to trust me with this one Sarah." as he do the Bartowski eyebrow dance.

"It will be unprofessional not too," she quipped, 'wow, I'm getting used to this.' She brought her eyes back at the road. It was an honest answer. It was all that she needed.

The vision was becoming to familiar to Sarah, the neighborhood, not that she care about them. The parking lot. All are too familiar - it freaks her out.

She knew the place all to well, she was here last week. In a mission, to terminate the a rogue CIA agent that had been her mark - as to how Quinn brief her it was a long term assignment. Little that she knew that it has been her home for the last five years, little she did knew that she was compromised from day one.

Sarah Walker is freaking out. It never had happened, not before Chuck Bartowski. It took all her training at farm since she was recruited in the age of 17 to school her facial expression. To still have a calm and collected demeanor althrougout their walk in the courtyard.

"This is awkward. " Chuck voiced out as they walk through the courtyard of the apartment complex, he can't handle it anymore. The silence - it's killing him. So he broke the silence. That is the most coherent sentence he could come up with. He was afterall is in the presence of the might Sarah Walker.

"Yes, it is."

"Come, milady" as he held on her back just as like a gentleman will do to guide 'milady' to the an all too familiar terrain.

"Okay that was uncalled for, I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay Chuck."

"Are they expecting us?"

"Well, it's just Morgan and Alex here in the complex, Ellie and Awesome flew with Mom to Chicago two days ago. Casey went flew to catch Verbanski in Russia."

"Verbanski?"

"Yeah, Verbanski. Previous CIA, was Casey's previous target had a little romance way back a couple of months ago. So when he knew Morgan and Alex are moving in together, he know the little bearded man will take care of her girl - that was his cue to leave."

"Casey, running off with the sunset with Verbanski huh?"

"Yeah, you can say that. Casey and his lady feelings. Believe they are a match made in a scarier part of heaven - that is putting words into it."

"Good for him."

"Yeah. yeah good for him." Chuck stated last in their small talk. He all knew too well everbody is moving forward with their lives, and most definitely they should also. He is not just sure if they would move on together or apart.

As they reach the front door of their apartment, Chuck opened the door.

Everything was actually set at the table. Morgan did as he was told, ordered pizza from their favorite pizza parlor and of course the classic sizzling shrimp from Bamboo Dragon. No candle light dinner. He all knew too well that the situation with Chuck and Sarah are still on thin ice. But as always Chuck's hetero life partner as they would like to call themselves made another breakthrough for him.

"Perfect." Chuck muttered under his breath. He could not thank Morgan enough for this. Now if he could just be sure of the next step to take without breaking the ice. It will all be good. He hoped.

He tugged Sarah's arm. to her surprise she did not pulled away, although she think she should have. But she liked the warmth and comfort his hand offered. He was simply irresistable for her.

Chuck sent a message to Morgan, thanking him again for the favor that he did.

**(Thanks Buddy, it perfect.)**

As soon as he sent the message, in half a minute it beeped. Telling him that there is a text that he has to read,

**(No problem Chuck. Are you going to tell her now?)**

He sighed, as soon as he read the question. He didn't know what to do, or if it was the right thing. They both needed time to heal, especially her. It's not everyday you forgot five years of your life. She needed time. But how they are going to do this, that he wasn't sure of.

With another heavy sigh, he replied to Morgan's message.

**(I still don't know Morgan. I don't know what to do. I hope will do the right thing.)**

With that he put the phone back to his pocket and brought back his full attention to Sarah who was standing at the door absorbing the surrounding.

"The food is waiting, let's go. I don't have time to cook and for that I'm sorry." He pulled the chair for her wife - an inevitable habit of being a gentleman. She can get used to this.

END OF CHAPTER ONE

A/N: PLEASE DON'T KILL ME :) REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED


	2. Chapter 2 Fishes and Metaphors

_**Author's Note: 195 Views and 169 Visitors, 2 reviews. It keeps on getting better :) Yep, Chapter 2 is up. I'm so surprised to all you folks who happen to drop by and took time to read what is going on with this o'le head of mine. Reviews and alerts subscription are always appreciated. It's 9:55 pm here in my place. It's my day off from work so I can update. And I also write from work, even a couple of paragraph, so you can expect frequent updates. **_

_**Reviews and views, whatever they may be keep me going.**_

_**Let's keep CHUCK going in anyway we can.**_

_**Disclaimer: I forgot to put this on Chapter 1, BTW I don't own Chuck. If I did, they would have a season 6, 7, 8 (you get the idea)**_

Dinner was good. So was the company, he really missed the days when the could just be their old selves, no spy life, no missions, simple. If not for the fateful incident in Japan, her wife was ready to give it all up for him. 13 years of being a spy and five of those 13 years they were together - but she was willing to give it all up the hard core, jumping out of plane, dodging bullets, defusing bombs that sometimes lead to awkward situations - all for him.

But still life was still is good o'le self - as if they weren't put through enough already. Life has to be restarted for the both of them.

To say Sarah enjoyed the dinner was an understatement. Food was great, they're small talk were also great. As always Chuck was so enthusiastic to tell her stories about Jeff and Lester signing up as singers for a record company in Germany. Morgan freaking out as to how to break down the news to Casey that Alex and him are moving in together - he was very glad that his girlfriend's father took it very well.

"You know Casey is really a softie in the inside, he has been living with Morgan for some time now. He was just kicked out because of the little incident when he uploaded the intersect momentarily and he broke up with Alex and slept with Bo Derek, but eventually they sorted things out."

"Bo Derek?"

"Yeah. Can you believe it? Morgan slept with Bo Derek. He's a lucky guy...for all," and then he decided that it would be a lot better to shut up, after all the fish is always caught by it's mouth. It was just an honest crush, he was still in high school, well Bo Derek is still THE Bo Derek.

"Isn't she an actress of some sort?"

"Yep. Wow Agent Walker you do know well your pop culture, don't you?"

"It's in Morgan's file."

Chuck almost choke the grape juice he was drinking, his eyes were like saucer. But still Sarah think it's cute.

"They put those kind of stuff on your file?" he said incredulously.

"You bet, I thought you were a spy."

"Sort of. So do they have some file on me that tells you who my 7th grade first crush is?"

"Cindy Conner"

"Your kidding me right"

"8th grade was Charlene Banks, Junior High School is Alice Copperfield..."

"I got your point," Chuck quipped turning beet red as his wife enumerate girls in his history.

She smiled genuinely. Looking directly at his amber eyes. Lost in thought. If this what what she had in the times that she can't remember – then life must have been good to her. She must have made something right in her existence. She didn't deserve him. She was too broken for him. She was tempted to stay. But she knew it will unfair for him.

Chuck knew there is still a couple of matters they need to talk about, what are they going to do next? Are they going anywhere? Is Sarah willing to take the leap of fate? Is she willing to stay? Is he good enough for her? Then suddenly, his train of thoughts stopped. The last question he asked himself stung a little too much.

'Is he good enough for her?'

'You really have to ask that question huh?' he mentally kicked himself. It was stupid. Ever since day one Sarah was out of her league. It was just the intersect that bought them together. If fate worked properly in 2007, Bryce Larkin should have uploaded the intersect and did not die in 2009 when he took the burden and uploaded 2.0.

Girls right Sarah Walker don't end up with guys like Chuck Bartowski – they're happy endings are usually with guys like Bryce Larkin, Cole Barker and a whole lot better version of Daniel Shaw.

Unfortunately, he was just Chuck Bartowski. And one thing Chuck Bartowski was known for is he always intend to do the right thing. No matter how atrocious and miserable he will be. He has to do the right thing. After all he lives in the world when there is black and white, right and wrong.

"We need to talk", they both said in unison.

"Well this is more awkward than earlier," Chuck started.

"Tell me about it," Sarah quipped.

Chuck trying desperately to look anywhere in the room but not Sarah, way back before when his life was threatened and he was suppose to be on 24 hour detail with her and Morgan and him were suppose to move in together – way back then he didn't have the heart to break the news. Much compared to this one.

Indeed, there are no words for this. They just don't cut.

So with a heavy sigh, he continued the inevitable. They had to talk. He had to address the big elephant in the room and can no longer be ignored. Most of all, he had to do the right thing.

"What are your plan plans?"

Plans. She used to have her life planned. Mission after mission, No downtime, She hated time in between missions, because this job is all she had. CIA gave her purpose. It gave her chance to do something good in life – to make a mark on Earth, Do greater good. To pay for his father's sins. She is nothing but a spy – but a damn good one.

"I plan to go back at the agency, get a flight to Washington in a few days time. Be a spy again. It's all that I have."

"But you have me." His voice broke, not trusting himself to say anything more than. He is hurting – but so is she.

And she is more important than him.

"Chuck."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Silly o'le me. Don't worry Sarah. I understand. Ah... I know this is very very uncomfortable for you. Umm... I will miss you most definitely … But I understand... I do...," the latter part of what he said, he knew he was more of convincing himself rather than Sarah. But he had to try.

"Thanks."

As his eyes are getting glassier by the minute, he gathered all the courage he had left in his being – looked at her baby blues and said, "But you still have me, don't you forget that."

'He would always know the right words to say doesn't he?' she turns to ask herself.

"I won't."

"Good." he said as he smiled sadly on her. He was actually trying his best not to school his expression but God knows he is failing. He was wired this way – even a blind can read him like a book.

"Just give me a couple of minutes, I'll... umm... ahh...just, just get something in the room. I'll be back I promise. It's just a couple of stuff. It won't take long. After this I'll promise I'll let you go... "

He will let her go. It stung. Sarah unknowingly winced when she heard him say that. But he failed to see his expression for he immediately backed away to get something in his room. Their former room.

Of course life will be taking it's natural course. It accidentally brought him and Sarah together and it will 'accidentally' also bring them apart. He was never meant for her. Maybe. Just maybe. Thoughts were running two thousand miles per second in Chuck's head. It's the most lucid among the thoughts he could come up with. The one that he will be okay to let her go.

He entered his room, it was dark – but he was having nothing of it. His world was darker, no darkest. The place where his sun rises and sets will soon be flying back to Washington in a 'few days time' as she said. It can't get any darker than this. He went to the bedside cabinet and open the second drawer to get a couple of papers – papers he had arranged prior to him going to the beach earlier.

_'The one that got away,' _he quietly quipped to himself. His father told them once when they were fishing – which they only did about thrice in his lifetime, last was when he was nine the Sunday after his mom left.

"_Charles, the greatest catch is always the one that gets away." His dad was saying while a big fish – a snapper to be specific got away from Stephen's fish hook. _

"_Why dad? Isn't it always the biggest one you get in the end of the day? Isn't that always the best catch?"_

"_In a way yes, however think of this son – the fish the got away it may not be the biggest catch but mostly it is believe me – but it was the smartest and wisest enough to get away from your trap therefore making it the best among any."_

"_So dad... err.. mom, was your best catch dad huh?"_

"_Charles,"_

"_Mom got away dad, was she too good for us too? For you, me and Ellie – Ellie, she is nice, annoying at times but she's nice she doesn't deserve mom leaving dad. Girls like Ellie deserve a loving brother that believe my I'm trying and a happy family. But with mom gone..."_

"_Aces, Charles, your aces." _

"_I'm not aces dad, I broke mom's favorite necklace. It's the reason she went away, Ellie and I tried to fix it. The stupid super glue won't hold two piece of metal together."_

"_Your mom, will be back before you even noticed. She just have to do something important. But yes Charles, Mary was the greatest catch for me."_

Then he snapped back to reality. He saw himself the papers he never hoped of seeing again – if there was an alternate universe or another lifetime, he fervently hoped that his other him will not have to undergo such pain and difficulty. Both being understatement saying how he felt. Forms, banks statements, affidavits – divorce papers. He braced himself as he went back to Sarah. As soon as they take care of this stuff they can both move forward, maybe not just the way he hoped it would be. They may have to move on but apart – not together 3000 miles apart, or maybe more. All are understatements.

As Morgan said to him from the first day they both met Sarah. The same reason that kept him from proposing two years ago when he lost the intersect. She was a big fish. Biggest fish ever. Too good for her. Hell, too good to be true.

But what they have and had and will have if any is true, is real. He believed it. Even their cover. It's as real as it can have gotten. He could have not asked for anything better. He had the best. He loves her and she loved him back. As if those were not enough she and Casey saved him a couple of hundred times during missions and eternal damnation in a bunker. She was his personal Superman, Batman, Jack Bauer. Somehow, somewhere she said yes to him. Five years was more than he deserve. He has all the memories to treasure with him. She doesn't have any.

A part of him, still trying to put matter's lightly joked that 'there are many fishes in the sea.'

He really has to stop on his fish methaphors. It's not healthy.

**END OF CHAPTER 2**

**A/N: that's quickest update I could come up with. I'll try to come up with chapter 3 in a couple of hours when I'm still not that busy. I really appreciate it guys. Hoping you'd make my day with reviews please :) please don't kill me. Some comments and reviews will do.**


	3. Chapter 3 On letting go and letting be

_**Author's Note: Here is Chapter 3 before I go to work. My endless thanks to all the folks who took their time reading the stupid story of mine. I attempted to delete the story because of some reasons I'd rather not tell. But it's not letting me sleep at night – that is just an exaggeration of course. I'll post another chapter by Sunday. I'd like to hear it from you.**_

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. Nuh-uh... I Basically own nothing much of everything.

Sarah Walker is not just a spy, she is a super spy. She is also smart, for Pete's sake she went to Harvard before Spy Candidate School. Even the CIA had her life planned for her since she was recruited when she was 17, she still took Harvard's entrance examinations, SAT's and GPA's to maintain. She knew damn too well what Chuck was getting in their room.

She was still torn. No it will be an understatement It would not do any justice to whatever she was feeling right now. She knew she needed time to sort out whatever it is that she has to sort out – putting name to whatever to what she is feeling right now won't do any justice, it just won't cut.

"Wait, those words sounded so damn familiar. "

She heard Chuck's footsteps near the door of his bedroom. Not that he is loud or anything but she felt something was off. Like he was dragging his way to her.

But as a gentleman's gentleman she knew that he will be the one saying the news to her and all she has to do is play her part. Nod in agreement and her five year assignment – deep cover assignment will be soon over.

'Deep undercover,' she thought, yeah – she was way in too deep

"Hey," Chuck tried to start the conversation among them two. Not trusting him brain and mouth to work flawlessly. Buy he was trying.

"Hey yourself." She smiled genuinely, appreciating his effort in doing his part on the scripted conversation of them.

Chuck don't know what is wrong with him, or the oxygen supply in the dining area – the world in general. He is a brother of a doctor and has a brother-in-law that is also a doctor, by principle he knew that he is having or somehow is about to have a panic attack. With his world crashing this will be the most reasonable thing to do.

He is letting her go.

She is the one that who will get away.

Away. He didn't like the sound of it. His mother went _away _when he was nine. Two years ago his father passed _away_. Ellie and Awesome went _away_ for Chicago.

He definitely didn't like the sound of that.

"Again for the seven sixty fifth time I would like to describe this situation as awkward – it's like if Devon is Captain Awesome, I'll be Captain Awkward," he quipped as the last resort of putting levity on the situation. Silence would be too much to handle at this point.

"I can see that," she responded under her breath – almost a whisper. Glib isn't really one her gifts.

Chuck took a seat on the chair on the nearest left side of Sarah. Assessing his self checking if he could maintain eye contact.

He inhaled for like half a minute before trying to speak up. Held his breath long enough to gather courage to say things – God knows how much he prayed so there will not come a day that he have to say it.

"I'll marry you again, we will fix things. Start from scratch. Save whatever is left. Fall in love again, then after that I'll ask you to marry me again." He finished the last part of the sentence with his voice breaking. He is suppose so be good at this. The saying your feelings part.

He had to be strong for her. He has five years of memories with her. She has nothing.

Tears were like water in the damn that burst their way to Sarah's cheeks. At the end of a very painful day – or the near end of it. He still knew the right words to say. To make her feel better. She really wonders how he does that.

She threw a smile at him

"I'll be looking forward to that." She answered.

He gave her a full blown Bartowski smile with teary eyes. His baby browns pleading their case. Asking her to stay and not go.

An audible sigh was heard before she attempted to come up with words. Words that would somehow make him feel alright. She knew it will be a hail mary shot – but she had to try.

"I know this is hard for you, but you'll forever have my endless gratitude for keeping this easy for me."

"It's the least that I can do. You... ahmm... don't deserve this much pain. I wish I can make it all go away... "

"It's more than enough."

"You deserve better."

"You deserve the best."

"Can't you get any more ironic?"

She laughed. His effort to put levity on such things still amazes her. God knows this is not easy for her – much less for him who remembers everything. Every moment that makes them whomever they are now, he was there. He saw them all. Every heartbreak. Everything. God knows what she'll give up to have it back.

Chuck pushed the legal manila envelope that he'd been holding in the most part of their talk. It felt heavy. It felt uncomfortable. All the awkward adjective put together. It would do it justice.

"I'll take care of everything. You don't have to worry any single bit. These are just a couple of papers for our properties. Beckman was kind enough to give our money back in our frozen accounts plus the sale of Buy More is a done deal. However, the space is still ours. Subway is just leasing it. So we will still have regular income."

'We.' Maybe he got too used to using that pronoun. It sounded pleasant and accommodating.

"Chuck, you don't have to..."

"Please Sarah, it's break even. We've been this together, now that... Ummm... You're not making this easy for me... We split this into halves. We both deserve it."

Sarah took the manila envelopes. Looked at them pensively. Until Chuck broke again her reverie.

"Thirty-seven mil each. Those are papers that you will be needing. Although I have to apologize names on the accounts are both Sarah Lisa Walker-Bartowski and Sarah Carmichael. They were your picks before."

"This is too much... If I have this money why would I still need to work for the CIA."

"Point," Chuck said in a kind smirk.

"Come on, we'll make it through. We'll start all over. I won't mind doing it again."

"Thank you."

"I'll personally handle this matter. Less people involved the better. I hope I can also pull some strings to make such things easier for us. It will be over before we even know it."

"Again, I thank you enough for everything Chuck. I wish things doesn't have to end this way..."

"As much as cliché this will be... and as cheesy as it may appear. This is just the beginning. Little before you know it I'll sweep you off your feet again Agent Walker."

"Getting cocky aren't we Agent Bartowski?"

"Just kidding. We'll do better next time. We'll take our time."

"I'll give you the signed papers before I flew back to D.C."

"Yeah sure. I can pick them up. Just send me a message. Or you can drop them by or you can call me we can have some coffee or... or we..."

"Your rambling again."

"And I'm rambling again."

She finds him endearing. He is sweet, caring, understanding, selfless and for some unknown reasons – he loves her.

"Well I know I know I'm suppose to keep this to myself. But I want to let you know that I'm still hopelessly in love with you. Like. I love you, I love you. Nothing's gonna change that."

She smiled back to him. Looking directly at his amber eyes. If there was a way to kill someone with too much kindness – he is always doing it to her.

"Again, awkward."

"You're funny."

"Well, I'm a funny guy."

"It's not rocket science, I've figured it out earlier."

"Smart and beautiful. I knew I made the right choice."

There was a pregnant pause. Silence.

"Again, awkward."

"I know."

"We'll have to work on your conversational skills next time." He joked as Sarah stood up in the chair and motions herself on leaving the dining area.

She smiled again to him. Laughed softly. Levity at this situation is really appreciated.

"Wait." Chuck said. Louder and harsher than intended. He rushed to Sarah enclosed her to a Bartowski patented endearing bear hug. It was the least he could.

"Just ten seconds. Please."

He closed his eyes. Crying. Living in the now. He knows she can't stay – at least not now. Hopefully soon she will. But not now.

The hug was... no she can't find any words for it. All her walls are now crumbling down again. Her defenses are again - useless. Not working.

"I'll find you again. We'll start over." Chuck whispered in her ears

"I like the sound of that." She said burying her face on his shirt. It felt nice and safe.

"Good night Chuck."

"Good night Sarah."

And with that he let her go. Followed her through the door step. Still crying. Tomorrow they will both start again. Things will hopefully be better. Hopefully things will not be too awkward in time. They will do better next time, baby steps.

_**END OF CHAPTER THREE.**_

_**A/N: 364 VIEWS AND 194 VISITORS. Thanks for the support. I know you want to kill me for keeping them apart. 'Ye a little faith?" Please violent reactions and reviews are appreciated. I really need to go to work now. Let's all keep CHUCK alive.**_


	4. Chapter 4 Hang Over and Hanging On

**Author's Note**: _Hey folks. Just got home from work. No sleep yet. So far 783 views of the stories. 4 reviews. What more can I ask. To all the folks who wanna kill me for keeping Chuck and Sarah apart, I'm kinda glad I'm halfway the world from you. Kidding. Hoping I could come up with at least 2,000 words for Chapter 4. By the way I will be putting time on the story like time labels. Because this will be a multiple scenario chapter, God I hope. _Writing Chuck and Sarah perspective after the dinner is hard - I'm trying my best to stay as close as possible to the characters we come to love.

**Currently having a writer's block, I apologize for a possibility of a lame chapter. **

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. But if I would. The show will be longer than E.R. **_

**Maison 23**

**Rm 832**

**3:14 am**

Sarah tosses again in her bed for like the sixteenth time for this hour. She can't sleep for Pete's sake, after she went home from Chuck she did some sessions to the punching bag for the next hour and a half, got a hot shower and at 1:30 attempted to sleep. With no such luck, she is still awake.

She already signed and reviewed the papers Chuck had given her earlier, she plans on giving it the next day to him. As per the new director of the CIA, her new assignment will be presented by the latter end of the day, hopefully it will be a solo mission for she doesn't really feel like working with anybody as of the moment.

She is in necessity of a distraction - no tons of distractions. Maybe some bad guys and oligarchs and terrorists will do the trick, some adrenaline pumping situations will let her mind get off the hook. Off Chuck.

So far, she is not succeeding doing it.

His chocolate brown eyes are haunting her.

They were so endearing , adorable and innocent to the extent that they are not leaving her alone in her thoughts. She swear to god that she could probably melt in like 10 seconds making her training and experience in the CIA useless. Damn Chuck Bartowski and his endearing chocolate brown eyes.

Her mind drifts over to the conversation that the two of them had in the beach and at dinner.

"God this is bad." she muttered under her breath while she toss once again on her bed.

"I'll do better next time," were the last words she said as drifted off to sleep - hoping for things to atleast be better the next time she wakes up.

**Casa Bartowski**

**4:08 AM**

**Chuck's Room (Former Chuck and Sarah's Room)**

Chuck can't sleep. He is left looking at the ceiling, the Morgan door is open and it's a quiet, peaceful evening. All things considered, this is actually a great night for sleep. He bet the stars are shining bright in the skies tonight. He wager that at least half of the eight billion people in the planet are happy - he was just part of the other half.

He knew of course the complications of his decisions - he is just particularly clueless as to where to go from here. Clueless would actually not justify the predicament that he is in as of the moment.

For once things and stuffs in his life are in place, so as it seems. Ellie got the fellowship, Morgan got Alex, hell Casey got Gertrude.

But what about him?

Him. Of course he got Sarah.

"This is harder than I thought." Chuck said to himself while staring into nothing in particular.

He wanted this. Five years ago when he accidentally uploaded the intersect since that fateful day - after he defused the bomb using the porn virus, knowing that Sarah was CIA, Casey is NSA and he was the poor guy who has all the government secrets locked up in his brain. Since then he craved for normalcy.

But if this was the normalcy he was craving for years back then he doesn't want any part of it. Any single bit of it.

He felt alone, unloved and unsure.

It was like Stanford all over again, but worse.

He was actually bidden to ask a rhetorical question out loud if life can get any worse than this - but he change his mind, thinking that with from where he stood he never dared to ask again another question. He has too many on his plate now, adding an ounce to it will be a little more of like a suicide.

He was tempted to call Ellie. Ellie was there for him at the most part of his young stupid life - after their mom left, followed by his dad, puberty, high school, raging hormones, Stanford with Bryce and Jill. The awkward and under achieving years in Buy More, moping around for the next five years until things lead him into living a double life. Up to the point that she was not-so-secretly-in-love with his cover girlfriend to letting her sister know about the spy life that he has been living. To the extent of finding out that both of their parents are spies - Ellie was there. But now she was 3,243 kilometers apart, with Devon and Clara of course. And maybe her mom if she doesn't have a mission. If his geography and mental math is correct. Chicago and LA has two hour difference means it's around three in the morning windy city - he still have some human decency not to bother the slumber of her sister.

Five hours.

It's just been five hours. Five hours since she walked away - granted that they will see each other before she flies to D.C. They may still get a chance to get coffee, quick lunch or maybe just maybe another chance at dinner.

And just maybe have another shot at another chance. At them.

He liked the sound of that.

With that as his final thought, Chuck finally realize that he can't actually sleep with mental objects and situations running and rushing faster than the speed of light - okay that was an exaggeration he mentally noted in himself.

He grabbed something in the drawer in his bed side, a tranq gun - this should probably keep him asleep for the next eight hours or so, nine tops. Gave himself two shots on the neck, hid the syringes under his pillow as he dozed off to sleep.

**Casa Bartowski**

**Morgan Door**

**12:04pm**

"Chuck"

"Chuck"

"Chuck, buddy wake up." Morgan said as he gently shakes his friend's back to wake him up from his deep slumber. He is really that thankful that despite of what had happen yesterday, which however he has no idea about - his friend still manage to get himself a good night sleep.

But God it was way past noon. Chuck normally wakes up nine in the morning if they don't have work in the Buy More. Worst possible scenario when He and Sarah do what married people do he gets up by 11am.

'How was this day any different?' Morgan asked himself.

"Of course Vicky Vale, should have known."

"Buddy, come on wake up. I made brunch - well it would technically breakfast."

"Chuck, pancakes and meatsub."

After about seven minutes of talking to himself, well to be honest he was trying to talk to Chuck. His attempts to wake him up seemed futile.

"You asked for this Chuck." Morgan said in a threatening voice more than actually intended.

"Chuuuuuuck... Waaaaake uuuup!" He shouted as he was jumping like a kid on the five-year-old matress.

"The Force is strong with this one." He muttered under his breath as he thinks of a better strategy to wake his fallen comrade.

For the next ten minutes Morgan has been jumping tirelessly however he didn't see that he was jumping on the rear end of the bed and it was too late that he realized his right foot was no longer in the mattress.

"The mighty has fallen"

As he tries to recover from his fall and attempt again to bug Chuck as any concerned best friend will do. He notice a plastic syringe - no he was wrong, it's two plastic syringes hiding under Chuck's pillows.

"Really Chuck? Tranq darts?" He said incredulously and shuddered. No wonder he is still asleep.

"I'm calling Ellie."

Northwestern Memorial Hospital

3:47pm

Doctor's Lounge

Ellie is on the 14th hour of her 18 hour monster shift. It's been like week since they moved to Chicago. She is tired, worried, kind-of-homesick, and most of all tired - oh she already mentioned that.

She was going for the coffee machine for liquid courage to go on to the entire end of her shift. Still a little hazy, when her phone rang. As he looks on the caller I.D. she said to herself,

'This better be good,' and answered the phone.

"Morgan. How is he holding up?"

"Not good Ellie. Shot himself with two tranq darts, he sleeping like a log. Well no, more like the dead."

"Morgan."

"Come on El, I'm just kidding. Been here for the past thirty minutes trying to wake him up."

"I left him with you Morgan for like a week, you said you will look after him. "

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"How many cc's?"

"Five each, there are two of them."

"Analgesic."

"What?"

"It's probably Etorphine. M99 possessing an analgesic potency approximately 1,000-3,000 times that of morphine.

"Ellie, please in English."

"It's a pain killer Morgan. Tranq darts are usually sedatives or anesthetic. If he took two shots of 5 cc's he should be up in 4 more hours assuming he shot himself around two in the morning."

"Are you sure Ellie, because if you will be asking me Chuck looks like he is in a coma. You know like a person where his friends and family are being ask if the are all okay with the euthanasia thing. Its creeping me out."

Ellie is hearing Morgan's effort of waking up his brother – a couple of shouting moments, wait is he jumping on the bed?.

"Morgan, you know that between the two of us I'm the doctor right?"

"Not to forget my first love."

"Morgan."

"Yes, Ellie?"

"Prepare a glass of water and like four pills of aspirin on Chuck's bedside table also have sugar handy. He's gonna feel real weird when he wakes up like he drank martinis and beer with wine and rum. Also it will leave a sour taste in his mouth."

"You bet. Gotta go Ellie."

"And Morgan?"

"Yep?"

"When Chuck wakes up, ask him to give me a call."

"No problem. El, Why?"

"Were gonna have to talk."

END OF CHAPTER 4

_**Author's note: There. I'll try to post another one later since it is my day off today. Again my endless thanks to the folks that appreciate my effort. Also I please let me know if you have any questions, violent reactions anything.**_


	5. Chapter 5 Wingman and Tranq Guns

**Author's Note: Maybe it's my lack of sleep, kinda having author's block right now. Sorry for the story having a slow pace and everything – plot loop holes are horribly expected. Also a million thanks to you folks who happen to drop by some pm's and reviews and also who just reads my story. You make it all worth it.**

**Disclaimer: I know it's getting pretty lame. But I don't own Chuck. Too bad. Peace NBC!**

**(-_0)**

**Casa Bartowski**

**1:30PM**

**Chuck's Room (Former Chuck and Sarah's Room)**

"That went better that expected." As Morgan shrugged as soon as Ellie ended the call. Chuck better come up with a decent explanation about the whole resorting to shooting-myself-with-tranq-darts-so-I-could-sleep thingy. As expected from Ellie being more than three thousand miles apart – Chuck is far too off the hook.

He glanced to his sleeping almost like a coma guy friend, even in his sleep he looked bothered. He just god damn hoped that Chuck wouldn't mope around like he did way back ages ago with Bryce Larkin framing him for cheating and Jill Roberts dumping him finding Larking as an escape goat and not to forget turned out to be Fulcrum. Also comes with some details that Jill almost killed Sarah that was somehow a blessing in disguise for his friend's benefit – for he was able to sort out which is which.

Chuck went through a lot. Not just lately – it's been an ongoing process that they both have to deal with for he and him were like twin brothers that have just happen to be misplaced by the universe to different parents, but still they had to thank fate they had each other.

Which is really really sad he damn wish he still had Sarah more to the fact that he already found Alex.

He just hoped Chuck will find Sarah again.

With that Morgan gently patted Chuck's back and retreated back to the kitchen to get some water and sugar and 4 aspirin tablets just like Ellie asked.

"I'll be here when you wake up buddy. Semper fi." as he whispered into Chuck ears which turned out to be very awkward in the end. He made a beeline to the door and hurriedly busied himself in the kitchen.

**Casa Bartowski**

**5:12PM**

**Chuck's Room (Former Chuck and Sarah's Room)**

There was no sun when he gained consciousness – well he wouldn't consider it waking up because the said sleep was artificial in short forced.

Chuck was having the mother of all headaches when he woke up, it was worse than when he originally uploaded the original intersect in 2007 – okay that may be exaggerated but it hurts. The light from the screen of his plasma television is burning on his eyes together with the sounds of whatever game Morgan is playing on his room. But he'll bet in a million years its call of duty.

Still he couldn't dare open his eyes, not tempted albeit the darkness.

"Well what do you say, Tranq'ed Sleeping Beauty your awake."

Morgan provided him the aspirin tablets and gave him the glass of water to drink – being a little hazy not little too hazy Chuck did not protest and just drank whatever his friend had given him. He didn't care, his head hurt like hell. It feels like he rode the gravitron twice without being harnessed and no safety nets.

"Good morning to you too, Morgan."

"I'll probably say good evening or late afternoon – more reasonable."

"Wha... what? What time is it?"

"You tell me Chuck, you tell me."

He attempted to answer his own question but as soon as he tried to open his eyes things started spinning . He officially hated himself. Maybe tranq guns are really just meant for the bad guys and definitely it is not a substitute for sleeping pills.

"Everything alright Chuck?"

"No, not yet. But it will be, I hope."

"A man can only hope, huh?"

"She needed time to think buddy, imagine losing five years of your life – then someone tells you, you're kinda married it's difficult to process."

Morgan was paused the game and looked up at Chuck, asked him if he is hungry and asked his friend to drink plenty of water to ease up on his artificial hang over. He cooked fried chicken and mash potato for the two of them. Chuck was dead hungry, although he had to admit that eventhough he brushed his teeth twice and a couple of mouthwash and sugar there still sting the after taste of the tranq darts.

"You gotta call Ellie dude, she's worried sick."

"I know Morgan. Maybe later."

"No, I was wrong maybe she was more angry than worried or a little bit of both."

"Buddy you're not helping."

"Just saying. Hey Chuck wanna play?"

"I don't know what to tell Ellie. I don't want her to worry."

"It's normal for her to worry Chuck, come on it's Ellie we're talking about here. Three thousand miles apart or not, either you shot yourself with the tranq gun or not she will worry. Sister, remember?"

"Yeah, makes it more difficult."

"Come on, life can't be that difficult. All we need is some COD's then we're good as new."

"God I wish you're right. Where's Alex by the way? You should go man I can take it from here."

"And what? Leave you here so you can try that trick again? No she's with her mom, family trip – said you'll need me more here. They'll just talk about too much adult stuff. Too serious that it itches."

"Thanks Morgan."

"Don't mention it."

Chuck was the one who cleaned the table and do the dishes – eventhough he still has the aftertaste in his mouth and a gigantic headache he knew he has to put on some weight on the situation. Of course he appreciates Morgan company. They of course debated on watching tron or rather to play HALO or Call of Duty – which led to their faithful battle of rock, paper, scissors. Morgan won so they will play Halo. As he finishes the dishes Morgan sets up the home theater system for a possible five hour marathon of wits and strategies in either HALO or Call of Duty.

The guys are in the third hour of their gaming marathon in Call of Duty, Chuck and Morgan are teamed up with some of the Buy More green shirts with Skip as they overthrew the enemies. Neither of the friends are saying anything to anyone. Morgan kept on stealing glances on his friend to make sure he's doing okay. COD is always a good distraction for them both. No matter how bad the situation may be a little good game for the nerds will keep them up.

But silence was definitely the strong suit of their friendship. If there is one thing Chuck and Morgan do well together aside from playing games, reading graphic novels, studying Klingon and watching sci-fi and action movies – they talk a lot. So with that conclusion Morgan tried to test the waters by speaking first.

"Wanna talk about it buddy?"

"Talk about what?"

"Really Chuck? Deflection?"

"I don't know Morgan, it's a lot harder than I imagine it would be. I can't even get sleep with all the emotional roller coaster that's been going on. That's the reason why I resorted to the tranq darts. I'm tired and I'm still tired."

"Ah... umm... hate to break it to you buddy, it's always been hard for us right? Actually we should be getting used to it by now."

"Yeah, I know. I'm whining again, aren't I?"

"Do you regret it? I mean doing what you did?"

"I guess."

"Spill it buddy, o'le Dr. Morgan is here."

"I would have done everything in the same order in a heartbeat."

"All of them?"

"Yes. I don't regret uploading the intersect instead of using it to recover Sarah's suppressed memories. There were hundreds of people that would have been killed and I can't risk that. I can't live with that. You know me Morgan. More or less we are of the same type. We will always be wired that way. I just wish there was something I could have done better. You know, the dating-other-people-part of our relationship, would've spared us both the pain and time wasted."

"You did what you did, and have to do to get to where we are right now, it may not just be what we expected buddy – but its a lot better than any."

"Sarah will still be here in a few days time, tying up loose ends I guess. I still get to see before she goes back to the agency, I'm pretty clueless as to what am I gonna do with everything that had happened."

"Still got the good old intersect stuck in the big brain of yours right?"

Chuck was becoming too distracted in the game that his character was being killed four times in a row, leading to the Large Mart Goons to get close to their lead. He decided to pause the game

"Yes. I think I remember that part to well Morgan, no need to remind me dude. With the intersect in my head, I still have my obligations to the country. And me not being in the agency doesn't mean I won't do anything to keep the world safe for everyone else – my story may not have a blissful ending, but we did what we did so others can."

"What basically I'm trying to say here buddy is we can do basic intelligence gathering for the government, you know fundamental intel, matter loading whatever they need. I'm also still a trained agent, hopefully we can do some field work some action to keep the blood pumping."

"Or not, you don't have to come with me. Other things you have to attend to, I understand."

"What? What do you mean Chuck? One rule, never leave your wingman behind. Semper fi?"

"Four letters. A-L-E-X."

"Getting jealous aren't we Charles Irving?"

"Oh, I almost forgot add these five more letters. C-A-S-E-Y."

"Yeah, about that. Well okay you're not jealous, got that point already. You're just basically worried for my life with his sniper elite father that gave most famous quote 'break her heart I'll break your everything' part. Compromise. We'll manage, after everything Alex and I are a lot stronger that what we seem. Don't need to worry about that buddy. As a matter of fact she was actually the one who threw me out of the apartment to be here."

"Thanks."

"You would've done the same for me."

"In a heartbeat."

**A/N: Yeah. No Sarah for this one, still suffering for writer's block sorry. Thanks for the support. BTW I super like Frea's****Set, Spike, Dive**** !**


	6. Chapter 6 Repercussion

**Author's Note: I'm actually on my 4-day leave from work starting Sunday. I'll be back to work by Thursday... Thanks for the reviews, pm and dropping by to read the story. It hit the 2,000 mark for views. I'm gathering up ideas for the story, just trying to make sure they are coherent and believable. This is my first fanfic so please bear with me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. Yadadadad yadadadadada...**

**LAX**

**8:54 PM**

**Arrival Section**

Its been a long day for Sarah Walker with no missions to keep her busy and no adrenaline rush that is like coffee to her veins. After the she woke up around seven in the morning she felt like crap. As expected she ran her usual ten miles around the plaza to distract her from the voices in her head. Notwithstanding the fact that she feels alone which is by the way the feeling that has been existing even before she was a spy – things now are different. She can't seem to point a finger to what is wrong and missing. Her dad taught her to survive being along and CIA honed her independence and resiliency amidst thousands of different situations in life – but non of them prepared her for this. It was not expected of her. Con people and spies don't have roots, they don't have attachments, hell they don't get married. That's basically the reason why she did not have a blissful childhood – new town, new name, new con. After she was 'reformed' by the agency, things that she does are pretty much the same the only difference is just the law is at her side, she stills does what she does best, however she have to admit, lying, stealing has been part of her game long time ago but the whole killing and seducing oligarchs accompanied by constant jumping out of planes and other stunts she did for the agency takes a lot of getting used to.

It's a good thing Carina is coming to LA for a visit. She has a hunch that it has something to do with their upcoming assignment, some drug smugglers that flew to the Bahamas, suppose to be extradited back to the US. She hasn't actually been fully brief by the new director of the CIA, it has been scheduled tomorrow 11AM.

But just when she is getting used to the life she is living, something like this has to happen. Him, he has to happen. His brown eyes has to happen. Of all those things that could ever happen she found a man who's kind-hearted, sweet and charming not to mention his eyes.

'Oh I already mentioned that' she says to herself.

She checked her phone to see what time is it when she noticed there was a voicemail message notification and a text message on her phone. Curiosity got the best of her as she listens to the message first.

"_Hi, this is Chuck. I actually don't have a reason nor a decent excuse to call you, well technically this is not me calling you – I'm leaving you a message, but that is not the point. Ahmmm... To be honest I was just gonna send you a message but I have a spitting headache – which is totally cool by the way. Just wanted to check you out. If you're okay and stuff like that. I'm doing good by the way don't worry about me. Take care of yourself okay? Morgan's here keeping me company. Ah there, I'm good. Love yah."_

If it was all possible to melt into vapors in thin air, she would have already. Even in leaving a voicemail he is still rambling, the nervous tone in his voice is very endearing and sweet. His said-to-be-husband is still checking on her though not expecting a response and is letting her know that he is doing okay despite everything. He is definitely sweet as she finally concluded, for despite everything that had happen to them – it is evident that he is still trying to patch things up between them.

"How does he do that?" she uttered with a tone of both admiration and incredulity in her voice as she talks to herself.

She really is wondering as to why would a guy like him would 'love', as he said a couple of times that they have spoken and even in his message – on a type of girl like her.

"Talking again to yourself Walker?" a familiar voice behind her broke her reverie.

"Carina."

"Who else are you expecting?" Carina said as she tightly hugged her friend. It's been a year since the two have seen each other not after the wedding of Chuck and Sarah.

"Trouble in paradise?"

"What?"

"Where's Chuckles?"

"Something happened."

"Stop right there. We have all night. Let's catch up later, let me drop this by at my hotel after this I'm all ears."

Sarah led Carina to her Lotus and drive her in to hotel where she will be staying for tonight and the rest of her trip to LA.

"Can I drive?"

"You wish."

"But I still get points for trying."

"Yeah, try again. Come on hop in, you can stay at my place."

"Yada yada yada, geez Walker so grumpy today. What's gotten into you?"

"It's complicated."

"Are you two still together?"

"Again Carina, complicated. Let's talk on the road, come on its getting late."

**Casa Bartowski**

**9:00 PM**

**Living Room/ Playing Area/ Xbox Zone**

"How did it go? Is Ellie mad? Oh my god Chuck! She's gonna kill me right?"

"Yeah...wait, Morgan what are you talking about?"

"Ellie's not answering her phone, I know there is like three-hour difference from LA to the Windy City but she said earlier she has a monstrous 18 hr shift so that means she is not asleep yet but she is not answering her phone."

"Buddy, relax. It's not Ellie, its Sarah. I just wanted to check on her left her a message."

"You haven't called Ellie yet?"

"Don't have the heart buddy."

"Man up big guy, you gotta talk to her sooner or later."

"I know."

"You she can't kill you right? She... she's a doctor she'll revive you in case it does happens."

"Morgan were 3000 miles apart – not to forget I'm just gonna call her, she can't kill me."

"It's Ellie."

"Oh my god, your right. We're doomed, aren't we buddy?"

"You bet. So you better call her now and die now rather than call her later when she's asleep or at home or something that would lead you to being killed twice."

"Prolonging the inevitable huh?"

"Yep, you're will is updated though isn't it?"

"Point. Gonna call her right now buddy,"

**Riverside Dr.**

**9:23 PM**

**20 minute drive to Maison 23**

"Divorce? You got to be kidding me Walker, you and Chuck are getting divorce? Stop messing with me, what's the real deal?"

"Like I said it's complicated."

"Cut the crap, spill."

"I don't remember him. This. Everything."

"Not believing you a second Walker, that guy is so smitten by you. How could this..."

Sarah is not suddenly very tired of the conversation, her friend whom has just landed like almost an hour ago whom she had not seen since – well she can't remember but Carina and her don't get to see each other very often and now she is wondering why is her friend so busy poking the sore topic of the moment.

"Oh my God Walker, you're serious."

"What did I tell you?"

"Thought you got sense of humor since you married the dork."

"I'm serious."

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"Huh?"

"That's what happens in the movies, head trauma, amnesia whatever."

"My life is not a movie Carina."

**A/N: Short update... really really sleepy right now... just finished Chuck Vs Sound of Music I and II, well II is still in progress... just wanted this chapter out of my head, will probably post another one very soon... ROCK ON!**


	7. Chapter 7 Plans and Planes

**Author's note: Wow! It's September already! Ha! Remember when Chuck started five years ago with his legendary 25th birthday? Otherwise I'm getting a little nostalgic here, I miss the show, I miss them all. If it weren't for all the fanfiction stories I've read I would've gone nuts! Thanks for the reviews they make my day and it makes it all worth it. Please let me know what you think. Will try to push chapter 8 ASAP.**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Chuck this is just a hobby from a 20-year-old Chick die hard fan. **

**Northwestern Memorial Hospital **

**11:05 PM**

**Cafeteria**

"Hi sis, its me Chuck"

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I'm sorry Ellie, I really meant it when I said I can take care of myself. I really do. I know the stunt that I pulled up was stupid, I wasn't thinking straight. Please don't kill me or Morgan. He's innocent."

"Chuck."

"Yeah sis,"

"Are you sure about this? I mean this is a really big step."

"I know El, but I gotta let her go. It's different this time."

"Your a Bartowski Chuck, never forget that..."

"I know, we never stop, we never quit, we never go too far... But she needs to take her time. And I do as well I think. I mean what has happened is really serious I know she's hurting believe me, I am too... But she's hurting more and I'd understand, so I think this is still for the best."

"I wish I could be there for you, I'm really sorry that it has to end up this way. You too were so much in love way back then."

"I'm still inlove with her, I'll always be. But for now, I just need to let it be."

"We'll I just wanted to check you out little brother with me here and you there and Sarah not being with you I can't imagine how much your hurting."

"But whatever I'm having right now its much worse than what she's having, imagine it like this sis, you wake up one day and found out you can't remember the last five years of your life and Morgan told you – you're married to him."

"Chuck. Buddy, I can hear you! I'm still here you know! " Morgan shouted from the kitchen.

"I'm not joking El, I wish I am. But I'll be okay, I think, just say 'hi' for Awesome and Clara for me okay? I gotta finish cleaning up here pretty messy here. I love you. Bye."

"Take care of yourself little brother, and one more stunt like that and I will hit you and kill Morgan for that matter."

"I'm innocent Ellie!" Morgan again shouted.

"Won't happen again I promise, and El, I got to tell you one more thing."

"What is it Chuck?"

"I'm planning on going back to the CIA."

**Maison 23**

**From the Hotel Lobby to Sarah's Room**

**9:37**

Sarah was able to convinced Carina to stay with her for the rest of her short trip to Los Angeles. It was actually practical in two days time from today they will flying to Bahamas to be honest their formal briefing will actually be tomorrow. She will get to meet the new CIA director that replaced Graham, since what Quinn was saying was the truth that Graham died he need to know his new boss since technically she will be back on active duty as a field agent. Though she really is feeling great working again with Carina, a familiar face is always a plus - no matter how unpredictable her friend may be its always nice to have someone on your back. Though she is still comfortable leaving Chuck and flying halfway across the world to get sometime to think and give time for herself.

She'll do what she does best, she runs away from the problem. In this matter he just have to trust Chuck on whatever his plans are.

"So let me get this straight, Chuck was kidnapped you saved him and there you got an accident that caused the trauma. You woke up not remembering anything was deceived by the enemy and asked you to kill Chuck? You should be a writer Walker, people will actually dig this story."

"I'm telling you the truth and I'm not making this all up." God knows that sometimes she really wish this is just really a bad dream so she could wake up, remember everything and go back to whatever life Chuck and her has been living for the past five years. But hell things are more complex than that.

"Yeah Walker so then, when you were asked to kill him you threatened her sister and kicked his ass but then you came to your senses found out who's telling the truth and you both took out that Quinn guy."

"After the encounter that we had in the house that he told me was our dream house, I hit him, several times and held him at gunpoint."

"Let me guess he didn't fight back and is whining for you to remember him."

"He took a bullet for me."

"That was pretty moronic. So he's dead then?"

"Can you just be serious for just a second?"

"Continue."

"He was wearing a vest."

"That's anticlimactic."

For the past two hours she told Carina what had happened between them – her and Chuck. She just jumped over the details about the intersect causing her memory loss and used a lame excuse of head trauma, the less people knew what happen the better it would be. Of course Carina did not know about Chuck uploading again the intersect for god knows how many times he did it. She discussed that she and Chuck agreed to have a clean slate and go on separate ways for the mean time not forcing her to have the life that she had for the past five years.

"So you're going back to the agency?"

"I thought that was implied earlier on the story I told you earlier."

"And you're telling me he is all okay with this."

"He is not technically, but he is trying to be."

"The kid's really had it bad for you Walker."

"That makes it harder."

"So we'll be leaving in two days and will have a briefing tomorrow, do you have any plans?"

"I need to give these papers to Chuck at lunch, I'll probably call him."

Carina saw the small stack of papers at Sarah's coffee table, she knew what are those for of course.

"Are you sure about this? Walker you do realize that a guy like him doesn't just appear in your life very often. I knew you had a thing with Larkin and it's given you don't remember him or whatever it is you bunnies do together. It's not too often you see a guy using Russian Special Forces to lead a coup de' tat against that douche Decker when you were in a coma."

"He did what?"

"You heard me, not going to repeat myself again. Long story short, you were poisoned he went to get the antidote, Martin, Casey and Mary her mom asked for me and Zondra's assistance. Then the kid came along with his Russian friends. You got married a week after."

"That was very kind of him." Sarah said in a soft tone.

"So quit the dancing the dance Walker, you've done it far too long to repeat it again. Again this is too redundant."

"I still have my doubts."

"Really, with you trying to kill him and having her sister as a hostage what he did in return was took a bullet for you and lend you a hand in a mission to kill the memory erasing freak that caused your head trauma and defused a bomb under Beckman's chair, no pun intended, you still have your doubts?"

"Not about him, about me."

"So now this is a situation that we should identify as 'its-not-you-its-me' dance."

"Its always been me Carina, I'm the one who doesn't remembers, now we talked about it he said that... look I don't have to explain this to you."

She knew her friend was never good in finding the right words to express herself, she is the type of person who would rather be misunderstood that to admit her own defeat. So she stood up from Sarah's bed and hugged her friend, letting her know that like Chuck no matter what she choose she will be there for her. She actually volunteered for this mission, though she was skeptical at first to know that her friend was to go alone in the Bahamas while she has a loving husband with her – she knew something was off.

"I just wanted to be sure your aware of what you're doing and this is not just a rash decision."

"I know, I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"You have all the right too, come on stop crying, wipe those tears away there's nothing better in fixing a broken heart and head than some tequila, body shots with serious bar hopping."

"I'm not crying." Sarah said adamantly, as a matter of fact she isn't but it took all her training and restraint to control the havoc of emotions threatening to pour in all at once, she was confused, lost and also afraid to let go of whatever life she may have had in LA – but she knew she had to start somewhere and having it in as a form of mission is like having a hunter in an all too familiar terrain. From there on she'll know what to do. But she can't deny her eyes were getting glassier by the minute. She hid her face on Carina's shoulder.

"Come on Walker the night is still young let's get out of here it's always good to have a good drink before getting to a plane for a mission."

**A/N: hey, thanks for the reviews and to all of you who read the story. Especially to **Shadowda**, **KryptonitePoison** , t**shdow** and to everybody who takes time to read the story, yeah this is pretty sore topic and I hope to live to write the next chapter. Just enjoy the ride guys! **


	8. Chapter 8 Fillers and Feelings

**Author's Note: Here is the next installment. Thanks for all the reviews and pm's they really make my day. I'm actually becoming too busy reading too many chuck fanfics which are all awesome**

**Oh, by the way I don't own CHUCK :)**

**Casa Bartowski**

**5:50 AM**

**Fountain**

Chuck Bartowski is never really a morning person so this usual morning jogging five years ago would have been very unusual to him not to mention unnecessary. But of course things change and always for the better he hoped, since sleep and peaceful slumber hasn't been technically nice to him after everything that happened and happening he welcomes himself to any form of distraction or diversion whatever you wanna call it anything to take away the pain, the hurt and the longing. He just wanted to keep moving and not mope around like he did before – so he did a morning run, just like what he and Sarah used to do. Eversince the intersect was out on his head in the past year and they both decided to be spies-for-hire, she forced Chuck to do normal exercises and training programs spies had to do because they do not have the aide of an intersect during missions. Yep during the last year he had to learn to be a spy, the hard way – 10 mile runs, killer cardios, kick boxing, speed bag regimen, push up, sit up curls even jumping jacks he all did it and for a nerd who spent the last 25 years of his life pretty much doing nothing for physical fitness due to his fast metabolism that is a lot of work.

But it was all okay, bearable, doable, nothing was impossible to him, he could do anything that time. He may have lost the aide of a supercomputer that was created by his late father to save the world but he had Sarah and it was all that he needed.

He did everything he asked her in her training-program-to-be-a-super-spy-program that it became a habit. All was fun with her even though he had several mini heart attacks every time he dealt with physical activities that was not programmed with his skinny and lanky frame. She was able to make a man out of him, so all the pitiful runs and killer cardios became a part of his system – he unintentionally became a health buff courtesy of her super spy wife Sarah Walker.

So he thought running from Casa Bartowski to the Beach to Sarah's Apartment was a good idea.

Apparently its not.

"You're up early Chuck." Morgan greeted his best buddy as he came from what he suspected as the morning jog. He loved his friend truly and dearly but there are just some things that he can't deal doing with his best buddy some lines that he have to draw and call to us his personal space - one of them was running plus he doesn't normally wake up four in the morning to run. He would rather stick to Star Wars, Die Hard, Indiana Jones with cheese balls and cheese puffs and save the world rather than whatever it is his friend is doing.

"Force of a habit, I guess."

"How was the run?"

"Brutal, lonesome and most of all pathetic, did five miles today."

"It was longer?"

"Yeah, like that and drinking coffee without sugar and water in it."

"Awful."

"Thanks for pointing that out buddy."

"You know, you used to be cool buddy."

"Thanks again for pointing that out here am I, King of the Nerds resorting for a morning jog as a diversion for a breaking heart."

"Hey atleast you got the girl. At some point, somehow, somewhere and sometime she said yes to you."

"And I'll make her say again."

"After the divorce?"

"Yeah you're right. She'll say yes and probably I do afterwards AGAIN.

And with that Chuck entered his apartment to give some important calls to important people and deal with important things.

'That was weird,' he thought to himself.

But real life has to happen and he has to deal with it.

**Maison 23**

**6:10 AM**

**Sarah's Room**

Sarah Walker is never drinking again.

Her head was throbbing like hell in pandemonium.

She knew it, a night out with Carina Miller for whatever reason it was – was never a brilliant idea. Aside from her friend trying to set her up with some random guy in the bar she left her alone in the cab to her hotel and hooked up with some guy which is so typical. Its basically a good thing at least her friend is still the same, the way she remembers her five years ago. Still the typical party girl and her deviant sex morals still very enlightening. No matter how she wanted to die right now with her throat burning and eyes burning with the morning sun of Burbank California she has to wake up and take care of some stuffs before she leave for a mission.

As she went to the bathroom to grab a couple of aspirins to feel human again, brushed her teeth and washed her face. She also went for a hot shower with her aching body both from previous workout activities and hang over whichever comes first.

She was about to call Carina to check her and to ask if she is coming for breakfast so she could order for two when her phone rang. Sarah quickly ran on the coffee table near the couch to get it to see who is calling.

"Carina."

"Walker, I hope I'm not interrupting something very important as of the moment."

"Are you coming here for breakfast?"

"You're alone?"

"What do you mean?"

"I was suppose to come there this morning I saw your husband dropping by at your hotel having bagels of both fruit and chocolate croissants with coffee – I assumed you're gonna get laid."

"Oh I see." To say that she was surprised was an understatement. She can't deny the fact that aside from her head hurting her stomach is grumbling so a breakfast even from terrorists and oligarchs will really be a good idea.

But Chuck wasn't there.

"So he's not there?"

"Nope, he's not so you better come inside." As she open the door to look for her friend and ask her to come in she saw a tray at the footsteps of her room with a bantam bouquet of gardenias two cups of coffee and a bag of goods that perhaps Carina was talking about.

She lifted the tray to gather her breakfast and a small note was posted on one of the coffee cups.

_**Good morning.**_

_**Didn't want to disturb you.**_

_**I hope the coffee is still hot when you wake up.**_

_**Meet me at lunch later today, if you don't have plans.**_

_**Take care**_

_**-Chuck :)**_

Carina was carrying her high heels as she sauntered bare footed to Sarah's floor when she saw her friend dumbfounded by the note she was reading.

"Didn't have the stones to knock on the door I see."

Sarah being broken from her reverie was once again lost for words by the thoughtfulness by the man who claims to be her husband.

"He didn't want to disturb me."

"And suffer the wrath of the wild card enforcer's knife, maybe."

"It was sweet."

"That would be an understatement,considering he went here from Echo Park with no car using his morning jogging routine as a lame excuse to give you breakfast."

"You talked to him?"

"He didn't saw me, he was too preoccupied. No car on the parking lot he was sweating profusely from what I assume is more than a six mile run."

"I should probably call him and say thanks."

"Guess years of Harvard education didn't lead for naught ain't I good Walker."

"Shut up Carina and get inside."

As her friend came inside she can't hide the smile that is forming in her face, completely astounded and touched by the gesture showcased by the man he can't remember but haunted her somewhere somehow. This was all new to her, she wonder how often Chuck this when they were still together. And with that thought she decided to give him a call.

"Thanks for the breakfast, you should have knocked earlier."

"And suffer the fate similar to your alarm clocks, no thank you very much."

"Carina saw you."

"I saw her first, that's why I brought two coffees, one for each."

"You jogged all the way to the hotel?"

"What can I say I'm a sucker for a morning rush."

"The distance from Echo Park to Maison 23 is about seven miles, that was pretty much idiotic."

"I was going for romantic, but maybe you're right."

(Silence)

"Again awkward, that sounded really really bad like was hitting on you."

"But you still get points for effort."

"Good enough for me."

"See you later this lunch at the mall."

"And good morning to you too."


	9. Chapter 9 The Calm Before The Storm

**Author's Note: Okay it was a long break, I really have no idea what to do with the story. To be honest thought myself of abandoning it but a couple of pm's and reviews made me change my mind as always. Anyways, story has no beta so typos, mistakes in plot are all mine**

**Oh, by the way! Happy 5th anniversary CHUCKSTERS! STILL I DON'T OWN CHUCK, never will. We all get the idea.**

Maison 23

Sarah's Room

11:06 AM

Sarah's knows her situation is getting pretty pathetic as of the moment. A husband she can't remember , bank accounts also she can't recall but is suffice for her entire life and a DEA friend she don't know what do about and oh there's those stupid feelings that she don't know about – at all.

She thought she burried them deep inside, like deep deep inside like ten years ago. But they're haunting her again. And of course she is not in a million chance familiar with these stuff. For heaven's sake she has to save the world and here she is thinking of a lost love that is tugging half of her heart and making her doubt everything that she knows all her life. She used to be so sure of things and missions she needs to do but now, but now she's having second thoughts or like several second thoughts.

In a few minutes the new director of CIA that replaced the Decker Douche (according to Carina) will brief them with their new mission for Bahamas, normally getting to a new place away from everybody else is a gold star in Sarah Walker's book but now she don't know what to feel about it. Adventures, bad guys and gun fights didn't seem to sound appealing to her like they used to be, she used to be an adrenaline junkie on a borderline to suicidal that's why she earned her name as Graham's Wildcard Enforcer – she has nothing to lose way back then. All that she has in mind was redemption. She and father wronged a couple of innocent people and saving the world once terrorist at a time seems to be a pretty good deal to her – she can have some of her humanity back again then innocent people can sleep at night and live the American dream.

She choose the greater good. She should be happy about it.

But she isn't.

"Good morning agents. Welcome back Agent Walker."

"Director." Both agents greet the all too familiar face on the screen. Director Richard Bradford, 48 a known opposition of Decker and used to be the right hand of Graham. Sarah was all too familiar with the friendly demeanor of his current superior – before he went up the ladder of CIA management they did a mission in Honduras in 2000. Bradford is nice, reasonable, just and warm. CIA is in good hands, she thought.

"The mission objective is to grab Victor Navarro, guy's pretty famous in the Caribbean. Sources tells us that his main cell is to be found in Mayaguana Island in Bahamas. He has prostitution ring and drug syndicate all over the place but the guy looks good on paper legit business got some connections in the Bahamian Parliament. Owns a couple of hotel and restaurant chains in the country. Miller will go there first to do reckon and coordinate with the team we set up. Walker will have to go back to DC to re-certify your training which wouldn't be too long I pulled some string to make in a compact two-day schedule with psych eval on the sideline, after that you'll go with Miller to do the mission."

Carina and Sarah both looked at the papers that were delivered to them by the courier earlier about the mission details and also double checked coordinates in the email that was sent by the director. Both are veteran and seasoned agents at their prime and skimming through details and memorizing floor plans will be a piece of cake almost autopilot to them too.

"All the details are within the email that I have sent to the two of you, your identities and covers are all in the package delivered if you have no more questions that is all. Miller you will leave 0800 hrs tomorrow, Walker you're flight to Washington is on same day 1400 hrs. Good day agents."

The screen on Carina's laptop went dark.

"So much for pleasantries, looks like we'll leave LA tomorrow don't go whinny and cranky on me Walker. You better give your boy toy a proper goodbye before you go back to D.C."

"We're having lunch in 30, I also need to give him this papers I've signed." Sarah holding out a legal size manila envelope with her left hand to emphasize her point.

"Getting rid of the old ball and chain I see, always know you wouldn't last that long. Poor geek."

"Carina."

"I know. He's just too sweet. Would probably not breath oxygen if he finds out your not comfortable with it."

"Yeah, I know." Sarah said softly. Maybe just maybe, he's too much for him.

"Just don't get cranky and weepy on me when you come back here after breaking the geek's heart."

Sarah knew better than to think of a smart ass retort to her dear friend, so without saying anything she went out of the room and went downstairs thru the elevator to meet Chuck for lunch.

0000000000111111111000000000 000

Eversince after the jog earlier that morning,Chuck spent almost four hours and counting in the former base operations of Carmichael Industries in Castle, he technically still owns the place. He was glad that he followed the advice of their financial consultant that in selling the Buy More Franchise he doesn't need to sell the place of business itself – instead it is out just for long term lease which would mean regular cash flows to him even unemployed. Of course the underground base was off limits and was properly hidden and sanctioned with Casey's help, the secret entrances in the Buy More locker has been sealed and the only remaining entrance is through the Orange & Orange Yogurt Shop which is renovated at a store front of Carmichael Industries, with windows tinted with the help of smart glass Chuck developed, remaining inconspicuous is not a problem at all.

He is actually modifying a burn phone and turning it to a SAT phone so that it would still have coverage on the depths of the world and where ever their satellite can cover, he is planning in giving it to Sarah later on their meet. He was actually self contemplating as to what to call it, technically it can be labeled as a "lunch date" or a date, but he knew better old Sarah five years ago did not like labels.

So then, he will not put a label on it, as to whatever they will be doing when they see each other later at lunch.

But God he did hope it was a date.

Maybe. Just maybe he could make her change her mind.

Maybe it's not yet too late.

It's these things that keep him busy that allows him to cope with things that has happened and is happening. But basing it on his subconscious everything that is resounding on his big old brain with super computer again – he is failing to keep Sarah from his own thoughts.

Big time.

"Chuck? Buddy? Are you here? My question is not rhetorical so feel free to answer my questions." Morgan quipped as he descents down the stairs of Castle, his friend nowhere to be found.

"In here Morgan!"

"Thought so."

"Buddy what part of personal space have you not catch?"

"You ceased to have those privileges with me since we were six."

"You can't blame me for trying."

"Don't you have a hot date? In like an hour from now?"

"It's not a date Morgan, she'll give the papers she signed to finalize everything."

"Your marriage you mean." Morgan quipped.

He basically is watching his friend from the stairs of the Castle doing some geeky stuff he is most comfortable with. He loves seeing this part of Chuck – the geeking out part. The nerd part of his friend that existed before everything else happened.

Before Bryce happened.

Before Jill happened.

Before Stanford happened.

Hell even before Sarah happened.

It's the part of his friend that has been very consistent from the start. It's the thing they have in common. It's what makes everything workable.

Yes definitely by sense of definition his best friend is a spy – learned it the hard way two years ago. Although he did have a super computer and a blonde enigma with a gruff colonel as his training wheels for the past four years, but with the intersect being removed from him he managed to come by on his own. Well Sarah and Casey were their to support him and of course him his number one male cheerleader. With the intersect brought back again to his life, his support system out – Casey after Gertrude, Sarah with a five year memory lapse of God he knows why, Ellie and Awesome having their new chapter of life to face. Well he still have me though. Which is really really sad.

He definitely needs all the help he can get.

"Semantics." Chuck answered breaking his friend from his reverie.

"Maybe she's not the one for you buddy." Morgan saying it half meant. Things will be really much simpler if he was right and his friend would just let Sarah go.

Chuck's eyes morphed from their banter friendly situation with mirth to a glassy serious look. Morgan never really liked that looked.

"Yeah." He said softly that his friend has to strain his hearing.

"That's what I'm afraid of." Chuck said as he finished his statement with a slight crack from his voice. Thank God he was able to finish the modification on the SAT phone that he will be giving to Sarah later because his vision is suddenly blurry, tears threatening to pour.

Morgan's statement just hit too close to home.

"Come on buddy, let's get you ready for your date so you can woo her back to you."

**A/N: Thank you for your patience and support in my stupid story. Today is my mother's 1st death anniversary. Will probably be busy. Will be out of town for a couple of days, had to post this chapter before everything else. I'm really so sorry for the late update. Life happened. And I needed to regain my inspiration for writing and your reviews are all huge boost to my support system. I know this story is a bit slow paced but trust me, we don't want things being rushed – the Chuck and Sarah relationship is a complex dynamic we are all too familiar with so we all know it's not rushed. But we will get there. Let me know what you think.**


	10. Chapter 10 The Talk

**Author's Note: Hi guys. Thanks for the support and views on my story. The stats of views and reviews really make my day. I know we are all tired in the angst left in the finale and a couple of stories in this site tackled and pretty much and handled the finale scene better than I do, let's just say I just like to take matters in my own hands. But thank you for taking time into reading my own adaptation of CHUCK VERSE. I'm also thinking on writing another chuck story but it would be an AU, not that what I'm writing is not an alternative phenomenon of it. But Chuck and Sarah will probably have different professions. However I will have to finish this story first not to get mixed up.**

**I may not be able to update in a timely matter but believe me when I say I will never abandon this story.**

**Disclaimer. I do not own Chuck. I just have my Blackberry with me, and oh yep my laptop to write this stupid story.**

**1010100101010101010101010101 01010101010**

It was noon in the Burbank Los Angeles, but the appearance of the skies contradicted what was expected – the place was suppose to have a warm sunny, i-like-to-party-here- atmosphere, the city was known in having sunny weather after all.

But today it was rather different.

Chuck was so positive that probably like him, skies are on the verge of crying.

But he appreciates the sympathy of nature, in whatever size shape or form it may be. It's the least they could do by the way.

He actually didn't have a car having the nerd herder being brought back to Buy More so he again took a cab to their meeting place, and since during the past five years he rarely get his chance on driving duties with Sarah. Afterall he is the type of guy who is willing to take a backseat in their relationship.

And it's one of his qualities she loved about him.

He hoped. Or it could really just be probably for the reason that she did not like the way he drove, speedometer always below 70kph. Which is too slow for her liking. Sarah let her drove a couple of times in their cover dates and on some missions where he has to stay on the car (*which he barely did by the way) but that's it – it's like 75% of the time she drives whatever mode of transportation they are taking, except of course Casey's Crown Vic.

But he never did told her that the time they spent in the car – doesn't matter who's car it might be is always a gold star in his books. It actually didn't matter as to who drove what. That was basically his excuse for driving on decent and "normal speed level". Cover date or not. Boring stake outs or suicide missions – it really did not matter. It's the only peace he can have a little assurance he can have despite of all the longing looks they give one another when the other thought the other is looking, longing looks with half truths and companionable silence in the car.

And he never did told her after all this years.

And he is spiraling again.

This is getting more and more ridiculous he says to himself. He felt like being cemented into the grounds of the entrance of IHOP (*International House of Pancakes) as he tries to assess the area for any threats possible. Living with a spy, having them as long term neighbors, having them as your estranged parents and occasionally being married to one made these things to him natural – if not almost second nature with his luck of finding trouble at the most random circumstances.

With intersect or not, he hates to admit it but he is a trouble magnet.

And just like that his world stopped turning.

For the obvious reasons of course.

He saw her, caught his breath right up. Oxygen seems to be scarce in the entire restaurant. Time lost its magic and spark. Reasons did not matter anymore.

He was a goner. Just like the first day he saw her. For like the thousandth time in his entire lifetime his world did not revolved on the sun anymore – again. It revolves around her. Always her. No questions about that.

And here he thought, he could just let her go.

Easier said than done.

Stupid, stupid him.

"Hey you're here." Her angelic voice broke him from his stupor, words and her scent of vanilla hit him hard like a battering ram straight right to his chest. He swears for like ten seconds his balance was like knocked off him. Brain and body coordination suddenly put on halt.

"Hey yourself, of course I'll be here."

And then she smiled. It was so unfair, he literally turned into a mush of puddle in her smile and her eyes.

He sat down on the seat across the Sarah, their table was 4 rows across the entrance. They both have the street at their vantage point, it is actually a very convenient place to be – private yet it offers them the view that can take their mind off things.

Sarah can't take her eyes off him. She knows how rude it is to stare at someone, but can you really blame her? For her, he is just sometimes too hard to take in. Ruffled short brown hair, most of his curls are near to be evident, has five o'clock shadow on his face he seems more stressed than usual and God his eyes – always gives him away. She will never admit it but she is actually trying to memorize his face and features. His thick eyebrows, deep brown eyes, his nose, his soft lips everything she will be out for god knows how long.

And of course she is still having second thoughts.

About him.

About leaving.

About their life together.

And about what she is leaving behind for a life that is so familiar to her that it is so natural like breathing, almost.

"Have we been here before?" She managed to ask him, it seems to be a good questions she thought. Chuck tried to let her choose the place for their meet but she is not that familiar in local LA so she thought it would be a lot better for him to pick the place.

"No we haven't, it would really be awkward for me to choose a place we've been and being the only one to remember. I don't want to push you too hard. Push you away for that matter. That would be just mean. So no, we haven't formally eaten pancakes for lunch and you are not exactly the typical morning person to have IHOP for breakfast unless we will have it delivered and now that you've pointed it out, makes me wonder why we haven't considered it." He finishes his blabber.

Sarah was caught off guard by his response, yeah she knows Chuck tends to just talk his way over things and yes she knows he is sweet like diabetic bad sweet and he cares about her – a lot. But when he tends to put it all together in a run of sentences accompanied with the look of love and longing in his eyes.

It was too much. Sarah really wished that she can stop noticing everything that is so enticing about him.

"Forgive me." She blurted out. What it is they are doing, her walking away from him it must be killing him like a thousand times harder than it is her.

"What?" Chuck asked in confusion.

"You know for a sweet guy, you seem to be pretty oblivious at times." She quipped, trying to find levity in their situation.

"Hey, I'm not perfect." He answered Sarah, mentally grimaces at his tone it almost sounded whiny.

_Believe me, I know someone. _Sarah thought smiling and looking at Chuck.

"Nobody is." She managed to come up with a coherent thought with her looking in his eyes, it's actually a bad place to be in for a trained CIA assassin not having control on anything. She feels an unsettling commotion on her insides like her stomach flutters. It's like she has butterflies.

_Butterflies. I don't get butterflies._

"Well it's okay, perfect is overrated though."

"I guess, but seriously Chuck thank you and do forgive me for everything." She said the last words were almost in whisper, she didn't trust her voice enough to speak further. Things were getting a little out of hand, and they haven't ordered yet.

"There's nothing to forgive Sarah, trust me. I understand. If it's anything I'm sorry for holding you back, I've been really dragging both my feet on this."

"Touche'. But you I owe you so much for giving me this." _Space when I needed one._

"Please don't get me wrong, I still want to try. Us. But really don't want to push too much, I have a bad habit of doing that in the past. I guess I'm just trying to save whatever is left. I don't want to loose you in the process. I've lost you too many time already, been pretty lucky for the past five years. I can't have that happen again."

She looks at him, his eye were not on her. He was looking intently at his hands. Eyes averting her.

Chuck sits up quickly, as if burned by her gaze. Suddenly he feels his awareness is all over the place, like he can feel everything that is 360 on him. Especially her.

_Her proximity is so overwhelming and exhilarating. Intoxication is putting everything lightly. Too much tension. I can feel her holding back as much as I am. A distraction will really be nice._

And as if on cue the waitress approach them asking for their respective orders. The restaurant has less volume of patrons because Americans don't often have pancakes for breakfast. Chuck ordered three layer blueberry pancakes with bacon on the sidelines, she had asked chocolate chip pancakes with Italian omelet. Some coffee for her and orange juice for him.

"Glad to hear that our situation is not taking toll on your appetite."

"Hey, I'm a big boy ergo I eat a lot." Chuck smiling with his boyish grin.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, my flight's 2 o'clock in the afternoon." She didn't really know why but disclosing the time she would be leaving to her soon-to-be-ex-husband seems appropriate. Not really spyish but appropriate.

He gave him half a smile, sad about reality biting him hard no matter how he tried to have himself prepared for this situation. He just keeps getting back at square one with her.

"My schedule's pretty cleared up, to be honest I really don't have one. Kinda unemployed here. I can pick up you, I can come to your place and accompany you at the airport."

"Are you really gonna carry my bag to the airport? Really? You're that guy?

"No, I'm gonna change your life. I'm that guy." He answered comically giving him the full megawatt Bartowski smile.

His words stung her. He always knew the words to say. He almost said it all for the both of them. He is really different. God she hope she is doing the right thing.

The waitress again came back with their orders. Chuck wholeheartedly ate his share, so eagerly and Sarah find herself enjoying the company. His attitude towards having pancakes for lunch is infecting her, she found herself munching halfway through the pancakes.

Knowing glances were shared between them. Both were still testing water, they know they are walking on thin ice and one miscalculated move may cause them everything.

Everything that's left between them.

"These are great. Who knew pancakes and bacon are good for lunch on a rainy noon in Burbank."

"I have great resources."

That piqued her curiosity, she slightly tilted her head sidewards raising her eyebrow at him. Prying for information.

"History. Personal experiences. Romantic comedies." He deadpanned as he answered her unasked questions.

"I thought we've never been here."

"Yes, but you do like to pig out on rainy days and like Ellie you have soft spots for pancakes."

"You've had me at disadvantage Mr. Bartowski."

"Golly gee, way to make me feel old Agent Walker."

She chuckles. Everything about him perplexes her beyond anything. The way he puts levity on most stressful situations. They way he remembers details of their time spent. They way he looks at like nothing else matters.

"And you're not listening to me."

She broke up from her semiconsciousness, it is indeed true his husband talks a lot. But he doesn't know she most probably understood what he was saying to her. Him shooting himself with a tranq gun to sleep and Morgan being cranky with Alex on vacation with her mom.

"I am listening, at I thought I am. You lost me at Morgan's Star Wars reference."

"I'm impressed Agent Walker."

Seconds turns into minutes into two hours. Small talks have been made. The waitress came to their table for the last time as Chuck pays the bills giving a fat tip to the server.

Sarah gave Chuck "the look".

The look that always puts him in place, the look that made the world's deadliest scum weep and cry.

That look.

He really wonders if she really have forgotten everything, she still managed to keep her "Ice Queen" look that sent shivers to him all over the place since day one – in both good and bad way that the human brain can imagine.

"I could have paid the bill."

"Hey, I'm rich too."

She chuckles, moving her head in a resigning motion.

"But you are unemployed."

"You wound my heart Agent Walker. May I remind you I still own the space of Buy More so I still have regular income. Besides a gentle never let a woman pays for their date. That is just inappropriate."

He froze, he didn't mean to sound like that.

"So this is a date then?"

"Er... not really, this could be a friendly date or a meet with an awkward stranger to be exact. It could be anything,depending on how you want to see it."

"I'm enlightened," With that her face turned from playful to serious or probably to emotionally constipated putting into mildly.

"I originally came to give you these." She handed the Manila envelope containing all the papers she signed regarding property split off, paper regarding their marriage.

_Divorce papers. They're getting divorce. She felt bile rush into her mouth the pancakes she ate racing against each other to be out of her system. Thinking about it makes her feel dizzy and unoriented._

Chuck's expression did not change, still engrossed by his playful and boyish charm smiling at her. She's definitely puzzled.

"Ah... I see, always business Agent Walker. But thank you." He gave her a lopsided smile at her. Her favorite. Internally she is panicking. _Why is he so at peace with this? Not that I mind but I have butterflies all throughout._

"I have something for you too." Chuck spoke breaking her from the flow of her thoughts.

"What are these?" Sarah asked him as she looked onto the pouch that was pushed to her side of the table by Chuck.

"You're no fun." He teased.

"I thought you knew what you were getting into when you married me." She teased back looking at him gauging his reaction. Somehow deep within her, she knew that particular joke was literally half meant.

"I take it back. I'm sorry if I wound up your fragile heart Agent Walker. You, Casey and Morgan are all the fun that I needed sitcoms and romantic comedies aside."

She shrugged nonchalantly, not trusting herself to speak. For like the eight time in their conversation she was lost for words. But she bet he understood. He always does.

"I know your aversion to surprises so I'm gonna spill the beans."

"So I thought." _Nothing gets past you, doesn't it?_

"What are in the pouch are gadgets and some of your personal stuff, that I thought you will be needing. Just in case. In there are two burner phones, I modified them a bit so that they are link to our satellites. I am not selling those by the way. With you going back on the field it may be necessary to you. I know the agency can probably give you a couple of them just keep them as spares, more often the not they can hack into CIA database but they will never expect you to have a personal one at your disposal."

"Wait, what?" The rabbit hole deepens.

"Er... I'm so sorry... Let me make myself more understandable, I think I"m going too fast. How do I explain this, well... we were actually considering on quitting and we were meant to dispose Carmichael Industries assets to Verbanski Corp. before everything happened... I know, a long story for another time. I'm selling 80% of our armory, about 50% of our computer equipment but I am keeping our two satellites."

"We have satellites?" Sarah asked raising her eyebrows which he finds so adorable.

"Yes. We have them. I know they are overkill. But please give your guy here some peace of mind. The phone has a tracker, it will automatically activate once the phone has been crushed it's one of it failsafe measures I've put into, just incase you get captured... " He said looking at her flustered and worried.

"Wow." She said taking a deep breath. "You really have all our bases covered."

_Then there she is, using that pronoun again. Collective pronoun to be exact – us, we, ours. It makes his heart skip a beat or two or a few. He really doesn't care._

"I do have my moments." He says shrugging while giving her his boyish charm smile again. _God she really hope she is not blushing or anything._

"So what else is in here?" She asked trying to break the tension between them.

"Your spy will."

**A/N: I think I better stop it here. I really just need to get this chapter off my thick skull of mine. Let me know what you think. I know the story has flaws and is kinda cheesy at times but guess what? Perfect is overrated. I'm currently writing chapter 11 should be available by saturday. I really am sorry not being able to reply on your reviews but they mean the world to me. I'm just kinda tired and somehow uninspired. You will hear from me soon. Your reviews keep we warm at night.**


	11. Chapter 11 Spy WILL or Won't They?

Author's Note: Hello folks, it's me again. I really am lost for words for all the support, all the pat in backs and all the scolding I got from keeping Chuck and Sarah apart. My mind is really all over the place and I honestly don't know what to do yet. I think this is the part where I really need to have a beta. Man it is super hard.

Disclamer: I really don't own Chuck, or Sarah for this matter. I don't make profit in writing this story. I actually gain more enemies and rarely get reviews. This is just an outlet. My personal therapy. Please don't kill me.

1010101010101010101010101010 10101001010101100101010101

International House of Pancakes

Los Angeles, 2:46 p.m

1 day before Sarah's Flight to Washington

Of course, she is a spy it is but logically expected that she has a spy will. And she gave it to him.

She really wasn't expecting that. Not that of any story he told her is what she was expecting. Nothing in her life with him was what she expecting. For Pete's sake she wasn't anything of a marrying type. She gave up everything she had and did for a schnook in the Buy More five years ago and somehow somewhere she's thought of having a family. To say that she was extremely surprised, overwhelmed and out of words will all be understatements.

"I gave this to you?"

_Chuck this is me, this is everything I know, it my life. And if anything was to happen to me and if anything's gonna have it I want it to be you._

_The memory hit him like a bat on a major league baseball game. It stung, it was one of those memories that he would really wish that she could have back one of those moments where none of everything they did and do matters. They both knew what they do for a living is not safe, but they chose it either way. It's just who they are._

"Surprising isn't it? Apparently you did. But it is no longer mine to keep. Unfortunately, and I don't want to read it either way. So don't go dying on missions on me Walker."

"I won't. Well I'll try not too."

Sarah looked into the pouch she was holding, rummages through it's contents. Chuck put on a couple of spy pens that she is very familiar of, it's like 2 for poison, 3 for tranquilizers and 4 for knives she is also guessing all of them has an emergency tracker like the 2 burn phones.

And then she saw it.

A red plastic sealed container that is about a size of 2 credit cards juxtaposed together, it's colored red and has a seal of Central Intelligence Agency with it's logo on it. She knows the package too well. It was one of the things they wrote after spy candidate school, before their red tests.

Her spy will.

And then he touched her hand, breaking her from her train of thoughts which were running two hundred miles per second. She flushed and winced at the same time. It was an unexpected but welcomed warmth. His hands, they make her feel safe and loved. It is very foreign to her as of the moment. But it felt nice, Awkward but nice, and also there are butterflies. Yes. Butterflies in her stomach.

"Hey it's okay," He cooed. His voice sounded the loudest in a busy restaurant with the pouring hard rain outside.

"You get another redo in your life, to a start fresh. Not everyone gets to have that. I can assure you that I'll be there, here in your new life in any way, shape of form you want me to be. You of all the people in the planet deserves everything, a second chance is one of many."

"I seriously doubt that. But thank you."

"I know everything is still blurry and foreign and with how I have been acting around you. I think I may freak you out a little. Err... I am freaking out myself. I wish I could say that everything will be alright and things between us will be like the way they are before. Things may get difficult, no things will definitely be difficult, but you got me okay? No matter how awful that sounds you'll always got me." His voice is breaking, God he actually sounded desperate.

Well he is desperate, so that seems fair.

"It's nice to feel like your part of something, you're gonna be a little lonely sometimes...Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes... You can always look back." He continues as tears falls down his face.

She can't find the words to answer him back. _How do you look in the eyes of the man that loves you so much and tell him this time you're gonna walk away._

So she finds the most reasonable thing to do next. It would only seem fair to him. Its the only thing left to do.

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked out of nowhere his tone was incredulous.

He wasn't expecting this. Not in a million years.

"Reading my spy will." She answered in the tone as if Chuck asked about the color of the sky.

"Can't you do it at the comfort of your apartment? Or like when you are 32,000 feet above the planet and 3000 miles away from me? You know I'm not suppose to hear and read those." His voice was two octaves higher. Panic was evident. This was not clearly how he pictured things to happen.

Of course he was dead curious to find out for himself what contains his wife's spy will. But you are technically not allowed to read it. It was suppose to be classified.

He was suppose to read those after here funeral. God he hated where his mind is right now. Words seize to be with him. He inhales sharply and his throat was burning with pain, he was trying to control the tears from pouring, not that he was succeeding by the way.

"Aren't you curious? Because I really wanted to know. I don't remember what I wrote."

"Now you're being funny."

"Come on Chuck, what do we have to lose?"

He can't answer her question. What does he have to lose? How do you ask a guy who has nothing if he has anything to lose. When he lost everything that has meaning to him.

"I really wish I could remember, I'm sorry for ruining the perfect picture for you. At your age of thirty if things just went normal, we should be both retiring in spy life and starting a family. And now all you get is wife with no memories and you have to deal with all my baggage again."

"When will you understand that I'm inlove with you. In all of you and everything that comes with it, with everything that is you?"

"Come on, let's get out of here. Then we can read my spy will. Together."

He'd like the sound of that. Anything with her is a whole lot better with everything without her. So they walked out of the IHOP and walked towards the streets of LA, the place they went into was surprisingly a twenty minute walk from Maison 23. He was carrying the pouch he had given her always a gentleman she thought.

They'd settle into a bench just about 500 meters from her apartment and get settled in. Chuck was carrying their bottled water as they sit to the bench.

"Ready?" She asked looking at his eyes directly, still taking in whatever she could. It will be a long flight tomorrow.

"If you really are sure about this Sarah. I'll follow your lead."

"It's settled then."

"As you wish."

She opened the sealed container, there were two pieces of paper. One typewritten and the other was handwritten both folded four times each. Both had the stamp of CIA making them her official will. She recognized her handwriting. She quickly scans the letter finding faded ink blots on it, it appears she has been crying when she wrote it.

"_My name is Sarah Lisa Walker – Bartowski and if you are reading this it means that I am dead. I am CIA agent and is now soon to be married to my former asset turned CIA Agent Charles Irving Bartowski also known as Charles Carmicheal – the first functional human intersect. Yes I am engaged, he just asked me tonight to marry him at the dimly lighted corridors of Westside Medical Center while we were waiting for the blessed arrival of Clara Woodcomb. And if you are not him I would really appreciate you not reading any further this part forward and if you could just find him and please give it to him with all my love."_

She stopped to looked at him, he touched her knee and gave it a quick squeeze asking her to continue. Carina was correct. She really had it bad for him. She watched her video logs for the past 4 years she'd been on the Intersect Project and she did noticed the signs of her being compromised, but her will tells her a different story.

It's like on a different point of view. Everything changes when look at thing at the standpoint of dying. Of her dying.

She deeply breathes, followed by a sigh and continued reading out loud, loud enough for Chuck to hear as well.

"_I honestly don't know what will get me killed but I am really so sorry you had to read this. I really do hope that you will not blame yourself for any of it. I assure you that there are times wherein my judgment on missions get clouded by my emotions, but everything that we've been through together makes it all worth it. I am actually updating my will currently while you are sleeping soundly tonight. To be honest I was picturing of us either dying together on a mission outside the States with us being both dead you wouldn't have to go all the troubles and heartache of reading my will or we really get to grow real old and still be together and you have to ask someone preferably a grandchild of ours to read for you – because you're too old and blind to read."_

"You wrote those after the night, I proposed." He sounded shocked.

"It seems to be that way. Who knew I was a romantic?"

"Probably to many Must love dogs and romantic comedies."

She shrugged and continued reading. _"I am really not good with words much more with goodbyes, and it would really sound creepy but I hope to see you soon."_

"God that was a bad joke." She concluded.

"No it wasn't, that was pretty sweet actually."

"_You are always one of the surprises in my life that I never expected for but you are a gift. I never really picture anything this close in my life but I knew what I was missing all along when I met you. Up until this point I really don't know if I deserve to have this happiness. You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn't complicate your life too much. Somebody with less baggage compared with me. But still you chose me. And I am glad I stayed. And please do tell Morgan that he is correct. I do get butterflies when I'm with you. I do hope this happens still up until we are like ninety-six."_

"_And if my death comes anytime real soon which I hope not, and if in case I haven't told you about my mother and the baby yet. Please forgive me. I am uncomfortable discussing things here on paper. Hopefully you should know all this stuff by the time comes. If not you'll have everything figured out – you always do."_

"_That's all and of course I love you. Always and forever Sarah."_

**A/N: I gotta stop here. I will have to go to work later, therefore I shall sleep. This chapter was really hard to write. And to be honest I'm kinda running out of ideas. But we will keep going, probably 2-3 chapters more before the ending. Please don't kill me by the way. And I would really like to hear it from you. Another chapter next week promise. :)**


	12. Chapter 12 The Leap

Author's Note:

Chapter 12 has been a tough cookie for me. But you guys are great... Been with me every step of the way, since chapter 1. But we love Chuck right? That's what matters most. I've been reading tons of novels to enhance my rusty imagination, hoping it would make a difference. Either way thanks for sticking with me. This is the last chapter of it! Kryptonitepoison is the greatest!

Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, or anything of Chuckverse I am just a neurotic, avid fan that needs her fix.

Chapter 12

"And here I thought I couldn't be more in love with you." Chuck uttered those words in almost whisper like sound. He almost sound like he was choking that Sarah had to look up to see if he is alright.

"Have I told you about the baby?" That was the most logical response she could come up with, everything about her life was meant to be classified and be kept as a secret, especially the baby, the innocent kid that was tangled up in the web of conspiracy and dirty spy world. It was part of her dark past that she wishes to escape. It was one of those things she could control and giving the kid a normal life was her mother and the normalcy she never experienced was the last ounce of hope she could manage for her dying heart.

"Molly is safe with Emma, Ryker's dead, we dealt with him a couple of months ago after Christmas. They are in Jersey. Safe and sound."

"You've met them?"

"Yeah, we did. With Morgan, Ellie, Casey, Alex and the Good Captain. I should have told you earlier, but it slipped my mind. Things had been really crazy around us lately. But if you want we can visit them, I can have the jet ready, I may just have to call Morgan to set it up with Ron."

"We have a jet?"

"Yes. Three of them actually, but we decided we just need two, sold the other one to Verbanski. Cost them a fortune, but they used it to go to Russia."

"Does my mother know what happened to me?"

"Yes. I gave her a few call a couple of days ago, to assure her everything will be okay."

That was the last straw of it. Everything about her life was known to him, and for some reason he still wants her and he is still not running and screaming for the hills.

"I don't want to like you to much."

"I guess we're little past that honey, bet you're a little too late. Like five years or so late."

"I know."

"I know things between us are complicated, no that is putting it to mildly. I'm again using an understatement that gives us no justice. I know I said I'll give you space, but I can't. I was saying those things to make you feel better but I wouldn't like to let you go, I'm dying inside everytime you walk away from me. I know I'm gonna spook you with what I'm going to say but I'm terminally in love with you and believe me or not, it's as bad as the first time I saw you. I'm imagining a day that when I get up and I know I will not see you, because you're far away. I will not see you no chance at all. And now I'm imagining a day when I might see you. Okay might,could, maybe. Of those two days that's the day I want. That's the day I choose."

"Usually when I do this, I usually don't care if I am coming back. But this time I do. This time I'm coming back to you and to all our tomorrows, no matter how few or miserable they may be. I'll always come back to you."

"How can one step away from you be anything for me but one step in a wrong direction? I've made too many mistakes in my life, missed opportunities but I never regret them because they all led me to you. But please forgive me for being so selfish right now that I'm talking way too much but letting you come back to me, means I let you go. I just can't afford it honey. It's a risk I have to take."

She was hanging to every word that he was saying. He look so cute, his eyes they're killing her. The puppy dog eyes, his eyes were golden brown – and he is crying for her, for them. Too much love, too much longing, and too much kindness it's overwhelming but it feels good. It feels good to be able to find someone who's willing to stay and never let you go no matter how many times you wronged them. She is wondering if this is how she felt the first time they were together. If he was earnest, endearing and loving.

She may not remember anything about them. But they still can be together right? It may be a little unfair for him but she'll just have to make up for it in other ways.

"I'm so sorry but I really have to kiss you right now."

Tears were dropping from his eyes, like two little waterfalls. If his heart wasn't breaking and if she didn't care for him at all she could say it was a beautiful sight – Chuck and the afternoon sun with all the green grass around the park, and the blue skies. It was perfect.

He leaned in closer to her. Closing the distance between them. He can't look away from her eyes. How could he? When it's the most beautiful thing he sees in his life. He can't loose this. Not her.

Not her again.

He poured everything that he had with the awkward kiss. Held up her face, cupped both of her cheeks, tilted his head a little so their noses wouldn't bumped into each other. And took the leap. He was trying his best to control himself, to make it just sweet and chaste. But he missed her, he loves her and he can't let her and them go and poured it everything he got in a two minute lip lock, tongues were involved inevitably – you do the math.

She was so tired of fighting it, of fighting fate that kept bringing them together. So tired of being in control all her life, tired of being so strong and composed all the time. So for the first time as she could remember she let go and took the leap of faith with him.

"There are some things a girl never forgets and one of those is a kiss from the right guy." She said breathless, gasping for air. She was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Too many butterflies in her stomach.

"There's no accounting for the mysteries of the human heart. So I take it, I can go to wherever your mission is with you right?"

"You still think I'm leaving?"

"We'll yeah. I don't know, are you?"

"I think I'm gonna pass this time. Carina would understand."

"I would really like to say sorry for ruining the mission for you, but I'm not. But for what it's worth I'm happy you stayed."

"Just happy?" She rested her head to the nook of his neck and shoulder, just like that a perfect fit. A perfect fit like she was meant to be there since the very beginning.

"Yeah, like I-could-die-right-now-happy." He leaned his lips to her hair, kissing her temples, reveling in the comfort that was all to familiar with him. The smell of apples and vanilla together, but he would never tell. He hugged her a little tighter just making sure things between them are getting into place finally. He swayed them both a little back and forth just enjoying each other.

"Smart answer Mr. Bartowski. But I have to give her a call. Pardon me a second."

"Make the call here please. Yeah I know, being away from you for a couple of weeks made me a little clingy and needy. I've been needy and clingy ever since just for the record but hey I make no excuse of my actions. I just can't get enough of you." He realized he said it all out loud, his mouth getting way ahead of his head he pulled away from her, his neck crimson red climbing up to his checks.

"A man after my own heart... You know pulling away from me contradicts the needy and clingy part you just said right?" Closing the distance between them, she hugged and pulled him closer to her on his waist, not really ready to loose the warmth she was looking all her life.

Chuck rested his forehead on her left shoulder, on the process nuzzling her neck. He had forgotten about his aversion to PDA, he couldn't care about any of it. He finally got the girl. The one who was suppose to got away. He couldn't be any happier.

"So you do remember this phone number... Imagine that." Carina answered the phone in her usual sarcastic tone. Watching her friend afar from the park across the park at her unit, using binoculars, inconspicuously hiding behind the curtains.

"I'm not going... I can't."

"Are you really sure you can't remember him?"

"Why would the hell I lie to you Carina?"

"I swear to god Walker, if you're just playing on me it will be the end of you and your boy toy."

"Where is this all coming from? And just for the record I would love to see you try."

"The way your face lightens up everytime you talk about him and the way you hung on his every word. I swear it's as bad as the day I came in and saw you two..."

She was listening to her friend intently, absorbing the words as they come and not to mention reveling to the warmth not only her heart was familiar to but her body as well. Her brain may still be hazy and still there are definitely gaps that need to be filled but she can live without it.

"We're coming, wherever the mission will be. Give us atleast two days to prepare. I'll talk to Beckman and Bradford. We'll see you in Paraguay Carina." a rich baritone voice spoke calmly to the receiver of her phone not really caring for her response. Sarah ended the call with Carina.

She just looked at Chuck, still hugging her, not letting go.

"I thought it was clear that I'm not going. And for the record the mission is not in Paraguay, it's in the Bahamas."

"I promised you a life of adventure together, I believe we gotta start somewhere. Caribbean seems a pretty good place to start. I guess I could safely throw this away huh?" his right hand holding out he manila folder containing all the papers she needed to sign for their separation.

"Not before reading it first." She says cryptically.

He got the papers out of the enveloped and reluctantly let go of her.

No signature on any part of the papers, he looked back and forth, there was a post it note though on the upper right hand corner of the first page in bright yellow. It says:

**Shove the money on your throat. Your not getting off that easy. We have to talk when I come back. Wait for me.**

**A/N: There you have it, the last chapter, it's been a crazy ride to this point. I thank you all for reading my story from start to finish. Two weeks from now I hope to write a new one up, totally a different AU. Cheers. Let me know what you think.**


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